this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 48 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

I hate when people say "female"

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Do you also go to the zoo and complain that the monkeys are throwing shit? :P

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (2 children)

No, but I also think comparing women to monkeys throwing shit shows how fucked up you are.

You respect women; you tolerate monkeys throwing shit.

In this situation, your metaphor is the "monkey shit."

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 hour ago

Tf are you talking about? They're comparing 4chan users to shit-slinging monkeys. How did you misread it that bad???

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

If you think I compared a woman to a monkey throwing shit, you seem to have misunderstood something

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world -1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

"Do you also go to the zoo and complain that the monkeys are throwing shit? :P"

It's in the comment chain, incel. Your words, not mine.

Are you also going to come to a community that doesn't dehumanize women and get upset when they don't like you?

[–] _cryptagion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

ask yourself why you never see green texts where they refer to people as "male"

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 hours ago

I'm not sure why you think I should be asking myself that

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That’s because it’s an adjective. It’s like saying “I was talking to a black.” It’s icky and devalues people.

Ever notice how the same people the say “female” don’t also say “male”?

(Yes, I know female can be a noun, but in those cases, it’s typically in relation to live stock or in science.)

[–] BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago

>talking to a female human

>I like her

>show her my favorite song

>she doesn't like it

On to the next one, bros.

[–] Outwit1294@lemmy.today -5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

People who work in biology say it naturally. Women is a very weird word for them.

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

I don't think most women who work in biology would agree.

[–] nebulaone@lemmy.world 130 points 2 days ago (18 children)

Calling a woman "female". I have this suspicion anon is going to be a permavirgin.

[–] maxwells_daemon@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's why I only use "femoid"

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's why I use the more modern term, "foid" /s

Gotta save those syllables, they don't grow on trees you know...

[–] gens@programming.dev 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Ppl redditing on greentext

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[–] Damage@feddit.it 20 points 1 day ago

Makes you wonder if it was a human female.

Well, goes for anon too I guess.

[–] aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 days ago

Feeeeeeeeemale

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[–] Mac@mander.xyz 71 points 2 days ago (2 children)

> Talking to a woman
> I like her
> Share with her my favorite song
> She saves it to her playlist

I wonder if it's still there.

[–] camelbeard@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Mac@mander.xyz 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I don't know what that is. lol

[–] camelbeard@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

It's an old reddit post where a guy had a sex playlist and after 2 years he found out his GF hafed his sex song. This is the song https://youtu.be/eN6jkWxxm2Y

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 1 points 5 hours ago

Ohhhh
Ty ty

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Of course it is. No woman can resist the sounds of The Three of Us by Streetlight Manifesto.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 days ago (5 children)

While OP is obviously made up, and definitively loves others of the same gender, that is not a bad metric for compatibility.

If it's your favorite song, ever. Something that just brings you great joy, and the prospective partner isn't at least able to jam with it, the chances of being on the same wavelength about other things get smaller.

I don't really have a favorite song because how the fuck am I going to pick just one. But let's pretend that I managed to and it was Master of Puppets (which would be on the final list no matter how that list got decided). If my lady can't at least smile and throw the horns in solidarity, how the fuck we gonna handle that big a gap in tastes? Not saying it has to be her favorite too, but there's gotta be at least a friendly neutrality or it means our tastes in music are radically different.

If tastes in music are far apart, chances are that other things like movies, tv, books, are almost guaranteed to be similarly apart. That wipes out big chunks of conversation and leisure time. And, how the fuck you gonna handle road trips? Stuck in a car with music you can't at least tap a foot along with isn't gonna be fun. It's going to be stressful as fuck after an hour or so. Trust me on that one, I've been stuck in a vehicle for work purposes for long trips without realizing exactly how horrible the people I was with were. And I'm one of those people that doesn't entirely reject any actual genre. Even the stuff I avoid, it isn't because of the genre, it's tangential stuff.

But after two hours of shitty contemporary christian bullshit I was ready to strangle someone.

Imagine that, but you hate Taylor Swift, and the date you're with is a swifty. Or, imagine your poor date just can't tolerate death metal, and you're blasting some Behemoth. The fuck? You're doomed. And that's what long term relationships bring: hours in the same place frequently. You gotta be able to find common ground.

So, anon up there making the right choice for the wrong reasons, what with the fictional nature of their same sex lifestyle

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 hours ago

I've lived with my wife for twelve years and we have two kids and I don't think she's ever managed to listen to any of the stuff I really love, because it's just too heavy for her. And I'm not talking Lorna Shore here, I'm saying she gets all stressed out when she hears any short of bass drop.
I don't think her brain was ever ready for metal, I'm pretty sure they don't have anything like it in China.

Anyway, my point is, it still works because she doesn't see music as a defining thing for herself, nor do I think of myself exclusively as a metalhead. She doesn't hate me listening to metal, nor do I hate her listening to cheesy Taiwanese crooners from the eighties. She doesn't try to change my tastes, nor impose hers.

I think that's more important, actually. Not hating what the other person brings to the table. Sure it's sad not to share a passion with the person you love, but it's better than them trying to change you, or dismissing or denigrating what you love! Now that would be a deal breaker.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

I hate the "what's your favorite song/game/etc" because like.. even though I have literally 9,000 hours of gaming on steam and probably 15000 total and have like devoted my entire life to it because I'm antisocial
I STILL CANT CHOOSE 😭 I LOVE ALL MY BABIES

edit: holy shit I'm at 9,995 hours now. I should make a cake or something when I get to 10,000


https://steamplaytime.com/profile/triflingtoad

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 hours ago

Same. Even though it's generally consider myself a metalhead, I also love some rap, some techno, some classic... I love plenty of music! "Favourite" is an idiotic concept to me. My heart has plenty of room for all my music. Love isn't a zero-sum game!

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Dude, everyone at the company owes you head at that point. 10k hours = head, that's just the way it is.

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago

Damn man I only have 8700 hours on steam. I gotta get them numbers up, that's rookie numbers.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My favorite song is probably Compost Yuppie Scum. I'm pretty sure if someone doesn't like that song, it just means they have better mental health than me.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

With a title like that, anyone that doesn't like it is probably yuppie scum, and needs composting

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

Counterpoint: girl yuppies are often smokin' hot

Music tastes can evolve. When I started dating my boyfriend, our music tastes seemed worlds apart. He's a rap guy, and I'm a rock girl. There wasn't much we could agree on when we put on the radio, yet we're on the same wavelength for pretty much everything else.

But he still came with me to an Eagles/Steely Dan concert, and he said he liked it. Lately he discovered funk music for the first time, which is a genre I grew up listening to. Now we sing and dance together to funk while cooking dinner.

I think the bigger problem isn't having the different tastes, but being closed-minded about trying new things.

[–] nebulaone@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Damn, you wrote a whole dissertation on this topic.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago (14 children)

everytime ive shown a girlfriend björk not only did they not like her, they HATED her with a passion

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I like Björk, but I also can see (hear?) why people might not like her music.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

me too. but i just dont understand how i keep dating girls who have genuine passionate hatred for her. not even just disliking the music, just pure rage

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