this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Kjev@discuss.tchncs.de 86 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Then you realize that you died somewhere between steps 2 & 3.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 31 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I once saw him down six chained spicy Italian glizzies without breaking eye contact. Anon’s got this.

[–] Mnemnosyne@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago

Your instance fails the scunthorpe test. It says s-p-i-c-y.

LemmyNSFW admins keep making rookie mistakes.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 months ago

As in the function or that I removed comedy? In either case, yes.

[–] PatMustard@feddit.uk 70 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Silverbacks are adult male gorillas, not adolescents. I'm beginning to doubt that anon has thought this through at all!

[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 45 points 9 months ago (1 children)

His plan is completely bananas.

[–] pinkdrunkenelephants@lemmy.cafe 3 points 9 months ago

If anyone tells him that, he'll likely go completely apeshit

[–] JokklMaster@lemmy.world 40 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

No because this is ~~classical~~ operant conditioning not Pavlovian.

Edit: Corrected for my stupid response while exhausted.

[–] Rodeo@lemmy.ca 26 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] Daefsdeda@sh.itjust.works 15 points 9 months ago

I think its like every pavlovian is a classical but not every classical is a pavlovian.

[–] JokklMaster@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

This is what happens when I'm posting while exhausted. It's not Pavlovian/classical, it's operant conditioning.

[–] kromem@lemmy.world 30 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Because a raging silverback gorilla that can bench two tons just isn't enough - it needs to be a swole silverback for it to count.

Some guys really have self-confidence issues.

No wonder even his made up girlfriend dumped him.

[–] TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

There's no such thing as an adolescent silverback. A silverback is a fully mature dominant male. They don't gain the silver coloration until they are mature, so the entire premise is a contradiction in terms.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 27 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 20 points 9 months ago

According to the foundation’s website, the growing problem affects one in every 29 million Americans, and one in every 80 Congolese.

💀

[–] Coldus12@reddthat.com 9 points 9 months ago

"After all, the gorilla is still in their basement"

lmao

[–] XEAL@lemm.ee 6 points 9 months ago

OK, I you got me until I checked the source

[–] THEDAEMON@lemmy.ml 25 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Couldn't anon oh i don't know get ripped himself ? Or is their ex a gorrila too cause that would explain why anon need a gorrilla for fight

[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 20 points 9 months ago

Reading through the green text

What kind of deranged experiment is- Oh. ........Oh.

[–] WaxedWookie@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

If you're going for bulk and rage, you're forgetting the copious amount of steroids...

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 10 points 9 months ago

Using Makima's face for the post was the cherry on the cake.

[–] dukatos@lemm.ee 9 points 9 months ago

So much effort... Just deliver to her adult male chimp after 3 weeks in solitary confinement.

[–] SomeGuy69@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Did anon have a workout buddy and this is about cheating?

[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 2 points 9 months ago

I swear I've seen this in Family Guy

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 2 points 9 months ago

Or you could buy gorilla feed from the zoo and mpmd's gorilla mind and gorilla mode. Then after your transformation is complete you take drugs and kill your ex girlfriend.

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world -5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This was funny until it became misogynistic, I guess

[–] BambiDiego@lemmy.world 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

How? It could be a woman with a woman as an ex, nothing in the post suggests gender.

Methinks projection from you, friend

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

We are talking about 4chan here, but you are more right than wrong.

[–] BambiDiego@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Fair point lol