This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
There is an app called “Zombies, run!” that literally uses the same idea, but with zombies instead of lions. It basically makes you listen to a story where you go looking for supplies and every so often, you get chased down by a horde of zombies and it uses your phone’s motion sensor to track whether you’re moving fast enough to escape them.
This sounds fun got to try it :D
Yeah, but it doesn't make you think that you're actually being chased by zombies because you know you're not being. It's just a fun game. It's not going to increase testosterone levels. It's just about being healthy.
OP here is just been thick.
Well neither does imagining being chased by lions then. Unless you have really good imagination, I guess. But I imagine in that case, either would work.
I love when anons post "I'm going to put a giant magnet in front of my car to pull it forward without gas. Any scientific proof that it works?" as if they didn't just pull this bullshit directly out of their own schizophrenia.
Schizo posting is the best kind of posting
Well, they do say that 2 heads are better than one
So a maglev train / magnetic crane? As far as ideas go, that one is not only possible, it is real and practical. When you get right down to it, electric cars are basically electricity creating magnetic forces to spin the drive shaft to pull the car forward without gas.
It isn't so much about schizophrenia than it is about trying to laugh about why its absurd and it won't work before trying to see where it would and why and where it might.
The funniest part of this is the title of the OP. "Lions chasing me." Tells you nothing about the actual post but makes it that much funnier
I'm going to edit the post title to match this.
Why are total dipshits always obsessed with their t levels
I really wonder about this. Where I live, there are near-constant "men's clinic" commercials, especially on the radio, and I'm just curious about how widespread a problem "low-t" actually is? Is basically every man over 30 struggling to get it up?
Or are these clinics just trying desperately to convince men that they need their services?
Because I have the only people who care.
Because, for them it's really just a shirt.
I tend to think that the testosterone increase would come from absolute terror, and fleeing in panic, but OP will know that the lions roaring is only a recording. He’ll know he can stop if one of his shoes is uncomfortable, ffs. That changes the scenario a bit.
Maybe sounds that might actually happen around OP happening randomly and also realistic sounding. Like a car beeping right next to them or aggressive dogs right on their heel. Would probably only work for a bit.
there's a place in UK where you can stay next to the lion enclosure and they will walk past your bedroom window
Where abouts?
And having heard a lion's roar before... imagine waking up to that. Holy shit.
Yeah but the zoo staff will kick you out in the morning when they find you in there.
The San Diego zoo has a big sign to prevent kids running by the cheetah cage because they get way too excited.
I can't help but wonder if that just makes things more boring for the cheetahs. Chasing things is something they probably really want to do.
A fight or flight response triggers adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol. The latter being the stress hormone, which is highly catabolic. Sounds like the opposite of what anon wants.
Yeah, Rokki did it, but with eye of the tiger
Is that the Finnish Rocky?
When do lions roar? I personally wouldn't want to tip off a prey animal that I'm coming for them.
I mean if the prey is already in full sprint it doesn't really matter does it?
Shouldn't you focus on giving chase at that point?
Nothing like a good battle cry to start off a chase
That's true, I suppose.
Just get a crazy ex-significant other near where you live, same thing. But that's going to raise your cortisol levels and drop your testosterone levels, the opposite of what green wants.
Green is on 4chan. They're the one who is the crazy ex.
Op needs to wire his soundtrack up to an insulin pump filled with adrenaline. I'm thinking lift scene from crank + lions