this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
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Greentext

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[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 86 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

This would be way funnier if the age was revealed at the end.

be me
balls deep in milf
guy catches me
drags me out of bed by my foot
cuts my dick with a knife
couldn't walk for 2 years
0 yo

[–] z500@startrek.website 33 points 11 months ago

My eyes skipped right over the 0 yo part, and it was quite droll

[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

Couldn’t walk for 2 years is a good enough hint that it’s a newborn.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 77 points 11 months ago (4 children)

You just call your own mom a milf...?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 68 points 11 months ago

Hell yeah, my mom’s a milf. A matriarchal introducer of love and fun.

[–] De_Narm@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Just for good meassure I've searched the term and it seems like people kind of forgot it's an acronym. Most definitions just say 'attractive older woman'.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Which is what I thought cougar described. Kids these days!

Edit: this has created a short comment chain that I adore..

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No, a cougar is specifically on the prowl for fresh, young meat.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Ironfist@sh.itjust.works 9 points 11 months ago

well, yes! Hurry up! Get your cougar!

[–] nieceandtows@programming.dev 19 points 11 months ago

I thought cougar was for women actively hunting for prey.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Even older part isn't relevant anymore. A 22 year old with a toddler is called milf.

THAT'S NOT WHAT IT MEANS.

[–] shasta@lemm.ee 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] TheBat@lemmy.world -1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Nope.

MILF is someone who is considered attractive by peers of her children. Think Stacey's mom. So the theoretical milf can't be younger than 30.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You're right. American Pie corroborates your findings.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Of course it does. That was when the word still hadn't lost its meaning.

[–] ObstreperousCanadian@lemmy.ca 13 points 11 months ago

His name is Oedipus.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 7 points 11 months ago

Freud thought so

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 31 points 11 months ago

I bet you also cried. What a cuck

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 29 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Didn’t learn to walk until age 2?

[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 11 months ago

What, you think he came outta the pussy drawing Mozart? At age 6, he was born without a mouth.

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 22 points 11 months ago (4 children)

cuts my dick with a knife

...what?

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 71 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Male genital mutilation, or Circumcision in American English

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 6 points 11 months ago

Ah, got it. Thanks.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 24 points 11 months ago

In America and other Muslim countries, they mutilate the genitals of baby boys upon being born

[–] PatFussy@lemm.ee 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

First step of being a real man is getting your dick cut clean off. Everybody knows that

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A real man would never have had the dick to begin with.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 11 months ago

your body is touching a dick 24/7. super gay

[–] Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 11 months ago

Circumcision

[–] radix@lemm.ee 16 points 11 months ago

what is this google ass font

[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 11 months ago

Calls his own mom a milf. Most sane 4channer.

[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 7 points 11 months ago

That is NOT a proper Haiku. 5-7-5, dude!

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago
[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 0 points 11 months ago

Is the MHLF....his own?