this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2025
519 points (99.1% liked)

Not The Onion

19512 readers
1184 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I feel like that's probably the one thing a vehicle marketed as bullet-proof needs to be... like, actually bullet-proof.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 113 points 1 month ago (1 children)

These things look even dumber as cop cars.

[–] sauerkrautsaul@lemmus.org 43 points 1 month ago (1 children)

robocop was supposed to be absurd and cautionary :(

[–] kyonshi@piefed.social 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It was a satire, but the wrong people took it as aspirational

[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just like Starship Troopers.

[–] m33@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

But...but... They are doing their part, right?

[–] northernlights@lemmy.today 78 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Imagine being a billionaire in the mood to be generous and making a large donation... and that's the best you can come up with. Giving 10 cars to the police. WTF.

[–] nulluser@lemmy.world 44 points 1 month ago (20 children)

The police were probably about to open an investigation into said billionaire for child sex trafficking. Sadly, all of the evidence just suddenly went missing.

load more comments (20 replies)
[–] Yoddel_Hickory@piefed.ca 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This isn't a donation, this is free advertising for Musk to have the police rolling around Vegas in his trucks.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 67 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The funny thing about them not being bulletproof will be the batteries getting pierced setting off a fire while they’re locked in.

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago

I love that for them

[–] VicksVaporBBQrub@sh.itjust.works 63 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Fun facts I've gathered up...

  • 10 Cybertrucks were donated to Las Vegas police.
  • Las Vegas haven't noted whether to keep or sell them.
  • Any vehicle going into police duty must be "upfitted" aka upgraded with a police package (lights, siren, comms, armor, etc).
  • Police prefer a certain known standard performance vehicle specs for duty (horsepower, towing, speed, mass, manuvrrability, etc). Teslas are too young to have demonstrated anything of this.
  • Some out-of-spec police cars (e.g.- retired, siezed, donated) might get another use as community outreach vehicles (D.A.R.E. cars).
  • Article states an upfitting company named UP.FIT {corrected name} Las Vegas, aka UNPLUGGED PERFORMANCE ®. They are not a preferred public service vehicle upfitter, as they ONLY modify Teslas and only Teslas for contract.
  • Sheriff McMahill is an uneducated media regurgitator.
[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Wait they're still doing DARE after it was shown to increase drug use among teens?

DARE is where I learned to make crack, and made my list of drugs I wanted to try.

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A sociology professor of mine worked her first job for Rand. Her assignment was to determine the effectiveness of DARE. She found that it was only effective on eighth grade boys. Rand thanked her, paid her, and shelved the report, because this was the Reagan era.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 55 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They aren’t even waterproof.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's why they are in Las Vegas

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 41 points 1 month ago

Are you sure that's the only problem?

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah. A vehicle known for trapping occupants when damaged, then burning them alive. Are you sure that’s the kind of vehicle you want to be in when it gets shot at?

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That is exactly the kind of vehicle I want ICE to find themselves in. Makes em' melt like butter.

[–] hark@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] human@slrpnk.net 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Embracing the dystopian aesthetic.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Didn't Las Vegas also buy his stupid loop?

[–] underisk@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 month ago

yes and they commissioned him to build more recently.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago

And the entire city is going broke because of ridiculous costs and xenophobic policies towards tourists. Those tunnels will be homeless shelters in a few years.

[–] DoubleDongle@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The original design had a 3/16" stainless shell and some very special glass, especially the windshield. I know that the production model is just a similar-shaped cast aluminum Tesla frame with appliance-grade stainless sheets glued to it. It's basically a different vehicle from what they showed off.

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 16 points 1 month ago

I'm not convinced its appliance grade after the talks about it tarnishing

[–] 1D10@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (4 children)

A youtube creator showed what the said was a production car being shot with various calibers, the .22 barely dented it and if I remember right it resisted everything up to .45. My issue with that is I've seen the body panels and seen people proving its just the same stainless that a refrigerator has, and about the thickness of any car door, and I put .22 rnds threw both of them many times.

[–] tyler@programming.dev 16 points 1 month ago

There’s a jerryrigeverything video linked in the article. It barely holds up to a 9mm and falls to a .17.

[–] Zoot@reddthat.com 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How is this not false advertising?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

When Musk does it is just puffery

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] MyMindIsLikeAnOcean@piefed.world 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Musk phenomenon is so strange. I live in Canada, and I’ve made multiple people absolutely melt down over the smallest criticism of him.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

Oops. Who could've seen that one coming?

[–] obsoleteacct@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 month ago (4 children)

It probably doesn't matter if they are actually bulletproof. They'll be used as propaganda show cars, or personal vehicles for the brass, and never called into actual service.

No one in their right mind is going to pick the "bulletproof" cybertruck over an armored Bearcat in a scenario where they expect to be shot at. For non-tactical applications they're no more or less bulletproof than a standard potrol vehicle.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 month ago

Good the cops shouldn't be protected while they protect the status quo and serve as an enforcer of most things wrong.

[–] lemming741@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

They can't compete with a 20 year old crown vic

https://www.pontiacperformance.net/TechArticles/CV_BallisiticPanels.html

It's a sad joke.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Problem? Idk, personally I kinda prefer Nazis to not be bullet proof.

[–] Bakkoda@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I need more proof. I don't believe they aren't, someone prove it.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Etterra@discuss.online 10 points 1 month ago

I bet it looks great in the maintenance bay every three days.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Every speeder just driving up on the sidewalk to completely disable their pursuer.

“Ed, turn here. This road has speed bumps.”

[–] OhioComrade@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Ready for Blues Brothers 2

To pursue the Blues Brothers, filmmakers bought more than 60 old police cars at $400 [ $1,573 today] apiece, according to news reports at the time

[–] DeICEAmerica@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Wait until the first LEO can't get out of one of these when it catches on fire.

Musk will STILL be treated with kid gloves. We simply cannot hold billionaires to the same standards.

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Shhhh........

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 6 points 1 month ago

I see Elon Musk has a new venture: coffin making.

[–] BenM2023@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

They are just about as bullet proof as the cars are self driving. Dunno why anyone might think that they would actually be bullet proof, given Musk's track record...

/s

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Shh!

Let them find out.

load more comments
view more: next ›