this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 74 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I would prefer the 100$ in bills, as it is easier to carry. I also prefer small breasts.

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

I also prefer small breasts.

Yeah no debate there. Better for the owner's back and they fit nicely in your hands.

[–] evol@lemmy.today 7 points 1 month ago

you my friend have ascended past what mere mortals can comphrehend

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 58 points 1 month ago (1 children)

True enlightenment lies in seeing that carrying $100 in coins is really quite inconvenient.

[–] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

True enlightenment is understanding that $100 in coins serves better as a self-defense tool than $100 in bills.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In a carried sock, yes.

In a worn bra, not so much

[–] Tinidril@midwest.social 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You sound like you've never had the shit beaten out of you by breast implants.

[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Goddamnit, you reminded me of the sentient cumsock filled with nickles in Dungeon Crawler Carl

[–] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Thank you for bringing this in my life, it certainty looks like a fun read haha.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 42 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I just want to get past January and this depression spell.

[–] pmk@piefed.ca 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can do it, each day is one day closer to the end (of january). If things seem bleak now, don't rule out that it can change in the future.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Thank you, you're so sweet <3! I was just venting out these couple of depressed days. I should be happy too, because I am making progress getting into my local Electrician Apprenticeship program.

Seattle is the worst in the winter in terms of mental health.

[–] pmk@piefed.ca 7 points 1 month ago

Congrats on the electrician apprenticeship program! As a swede I know how seasonal affective disorder can be, winter depression, it's dark all the time, and cold. But, it won't last forever.

[–] Zoot@reddthat.com 3 points 1 month ago

Amazing career, once you get past installing light switches for years on end its an very well paying field. Try to get into design if you care for your body at all ;).

[–] derry@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So Seattle is the Midwest on the West Coast? Dear Lord it gets so bad here from November to March. No sun for days on end. One year I think we went a month with only 2 days of any sun. Dark when you get up, dark when you get home. Every. Single. Day.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 month ago

No, Portland is the Midwest of the West Coast. Seattle is more of the North East Corridor of the West Coast. But yes, it gets dark here

[–] monkeyman69@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 1 month ago

Looking at boobs can increase mental wellness, I prescribe you 2 hours a day.

https://www.menshealth.com/health/a19516369/health-tip-look-at-breasts/

[–] BurnedDonutHole@ani.social 5 points 1 month ago

Come on... We can do it! I even stopped drinking. ~(つˆ0ˆ)つ。☆

[–] evol@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago

its tough brotha :(

[–] RichardDegenne@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago

Can I recommend luminotherapy if you think part of it might be cause by a lack of sunlight?

I was subject to seasonal affective disorder and extra light helped tremendously.

[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 23 points 1 month ago

I wish someone gave me $100 (with consent, of course)

[–] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't understand the analogy it's a simple question

[–] hayvan@piefed.world 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's the joke. A simple and completely preference-based question is answered in unnecessarily indirect way, with deep-sounding fake philosophic phrases.

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Coins or bills is also just preference.

[–] hayvan@piefed.world 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It is making fun of a specific format. Buddhist lessons usually go this way, someone has a question in mind, asks a guru, the guru replies with another question, and then the seeker gets enlightened.

This joke is brilliant because, like any good parody, it works well as an example of what it parodies.

[–] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

As someone who reads a truly absurd number of xianxia novels and having heard more buddist lessons and middle way philosophy then most.

I laughed for a good while at this meme. I can confirm is pretty dang accurate.

[–] texture@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

thats the joke

[–] kepix@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

but you can beat someone up if you use a few coins in a sock

[–] Bazell@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago

Only a few dollars in cent coins and a dirty sock can make you hundreds of dollars in bills just by beating strangers and taking their wallets. What a scary and a profitable world we live in...

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

What about an ass I can bounce $100 in coins off of?

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Value is subjective