this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
258 points (98.9% liked)

Not The Onion

20380 readers
1202 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

In July 2019, Worden alleged that her estranged spouse, astronaut Anne McClain, had guessed her password and illegally accessed her bank account while deployed to the International Space Station.

all 30 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 86 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Despite an internal investigation that exonerated McClain, Worden continued to promote the false claims to news outlets and hired a media consultant to amplify them. She also publicly released her former spouse’s personal information.

Huh, I wonder why there were problems in that marriage?

[–] hypnicjerk@lemmy.world 56 points 2 days ago

not the most dramatic lesbian breakup i've ever witnessed, but perhaps the most public

[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 98 points 2 days ago (2 children)

This was the very first time that a space crime was investigated.

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 64 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Despite making up only 12% of the astronauts, women have committed 100% of the space crime.

That's just facts!

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 105 points 2 days ago (1 children)

...women have been accused and aquitted of 100% of the space crime.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 7 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Women get weird around astronauts. Remember the one who put on a diaper to make a frantic 12 hour drive to Florida to murder her romantic rival?

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

i remember law and order CI did a whole parody episode of it too.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

Probably thought she'd show up with a wet diaper and a bloody knife and say "I'm all yours!"

The astronaut that was the object of her affection was like, "I don't even know her like that. This bitch be crazy!"

[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There’s even a song about it

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

Celebrated in story and song, it's a Klingon dream come true.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 1 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Oh, come on. As-if we haven't all done that. 🙄

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago

I can't resist Bucee's rest rooms.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

just need a giant astronaut diaper and your set.

[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 62 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Just to be clear, the astronaut was cleared of wrongdoing, meaning there was no real space crime. The false report charge is an earth crime.

[–] ArgentRaven@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You might be right on this space law, but let's say you and I go toe to toe on bird law and see who comes out the victor?

[–] bomibantai@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Fillibuster.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago

she knows this one trick now, just go into space.

[–] Neptr@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

It was her estranged spouse though. The astronaut didn't commit the crime. I get that you are joking.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well now we're getting into the sticky territory of space crime versus earth crime.

[–] Endmaker@ani.social 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Earth is in space, so technically...

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 2 days ago

What did I say? It's sticky.

[–] Railcar8095@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Not space crime, the actual criminal was on earth, she tried to frame the astronaut.

But given SpaceX and Amazon whatever is called, km sure there has been plenty of crime already.

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Remember when Elon Musk entered the spacerape?

*Spacerace sorry

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

SPAAAACE!!! I expect this is how first contact with aliens to occur, access your private services. from the thumbnail she almost looks like AMANDA tapping.

[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 22 points 2 days ago

100% of exonerated space criminals are lesbians.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Space madness. It’s a thing. I remember this from ren and stimpy

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 3 points 1 day ago

Also the documentary "Armageddon" featured it