I offered my dog a chocolate once and he said "do i look like a goddamn fatass?" and then slapped it out of my hand and slammed the door
this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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Fatphobic and ungrateful? Your dog is an asshole; you got a vacuum at all?
Is your dog a cat?
yea
Good joke but unrealistic. Chocolate bar is maybe new invented but cocoa isn't. And I bet they knew how it works on humans best friend.
The dog would probably be fine. It takes a lot of chocolate to hurt a dog - I was freaking out once when my dog ate some chocolate but I learned that a 30-pound dog would have to eat an entire full-size Hershey's Bar in order to experience any symptoms at all (and they would be mild and temporary). The same thing is true with onions BTW - fried onions can be dangerous because a dog could conceivably eat a lot, but raw onion isn't unless the dog eats multiple whole onions for some reason.
an entire full-size Hershey’s Bar
This says nothing. Hershey's bars have so little cocoa that that they're not even allowed to be called chocolate in the EU.
That's what happens when you live in a country that's run by dogs
Count yourself lucky. They taste like vomit
Some people are more sensitive to butyric acid which is where the vomit taste comes from. It’s kind of like how some people cilantro tastes like soap.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/hersheys-chocolate-tastes-like-vomit_l_60479e5fc5b6af8f98bec0cd
Beckman explained another reason for the difference in flavor between Hershey’s and European chocolate: “The drivers of our distinctive flavor are the use of higher amounts of milk cooked at a lower temperature so the milk and sugar do not caramelize,” Beckman said, adding that European milk chocolates, because of cooking at a higher temperature, have more caramel flavor notes.
Interesting. Guess they're hanging onto the original process due to tradition and the fact that it doesn't taste bad to everyone anyway
Interesting enough for me, the Hersey bars taste like vomit and are inedible to me, but kisses are mostly fine. If I really focus on th kisses flavor, I can still taste the vomit taste, but it’s like 95% less.
Milk chocolate has very low toxicity for dogs, it's the higher cacao content dark chocolate that is a real problem. Regarding onions, while the issue is common to all alliums, garlic is the most dangerous, with toxicity starting at just 5mg per kg
During a visit, my mother’s and my dog ate some chocolate cake that the wind blew off a table. We notice it in 10-15 mins, vet said just bring them in to induce vomiting. We did that, they got an injection each, and vomited out everything soon.
In practice, vets want to take no risks by calculaing/guessing exact cocoa content, the best is just to have them vomit as soon as you can.
Which you can do at home if you need to with an eyedropper of Hydrogen Peroxide.
And then pat their heads afterwards 🐶
Then give them a treat.
How does the wind blow a cake off the table?
Paper plates can act like sails, especially if the slice isn't that huge
Never been to north Dakota eh?
My wife's dog once ate (and passed) an underwire bra in full with no issues
My dog chewed up some razors once (the sort with lots of blades - I had a fun time making sure each blade was accounted for and he didn't swallow any) and I thought that was maximal dog silliness, but maybe it was because he liked the taste of the gel. Why would a dog ever eat a whole bra?
He was not a discerning creature, I believe he likes to grab things off the washing line, he was also a 65kg Labradoodle (not fat), so didn't really have trouble with bigish things
Could she still wear the bra?
The bra did not fair well on its journey ..
From what I've learnt, it's grapes (raisins, sultanas etc) that you should be worried about feeding to your dogs.
They are very toxic and tend to do permanent damage even in small amounts, particularly to the kidneys.
Toothpaste, too. Gum. Sugar-free cough drops. Xylitol is crazy bad for them.
I thought the issue with grapes was that they are a choking hazard for dogs
No, unfortunately its the tartaric acid, causes kidney failure. So meringue and Tamarind can cause the same issues.
The issue is that either your dog is susceptible to it or not, and there is no way to know until after as there is no safe limit when they are.
So the fox in the sour grapes parable would have died if he was able to reach them?