this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2023
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[–] catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works 125 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Text her, "hey, that was fun. Let's go out again" OR do nothing for 2 days then ask her what her dang problem was. Well done as usual anon

[–] Th4tGuyII@kbin.social 79 points 11 months ago

Some women really are like the US tax system - know exactly what they want from you, but refuse to tell you until after you fuck up

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 49 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I went out with this girl that was WAAAAY out of my league. We walked around the museum, had some brunch, it was a good day. I was nervous, though, and I didn't make any moves. Same thing happens, no texts or calls for days. Send her a text, she says she thought I wasn't interested because I didn't try to hold her hand or anything while we were walking. I wish I could say that I handled that news well, but I honestly don't remember what I said. I'm sure it was defensive and argumentative though, because that's how I am. I never got a second date with her. Advice from a guy with low self confidence: fake it. Don't be an ass, but treat your partner like an equal and you'll get a lot further that way.

[–] oshitwaddup@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Lots of caveats to this so don't just blindly go around asking people for a kiss or whatever, but for a date, especially the second half or end of the date, I think a good rule of thumb is to assume they want the kiss/hand hold/etc, BUT the critically important thing is you should just ask first and respect whatever answer they give. "Can I hold your hand?", "Do you want to kiss?", etc. If the women in your story and ops had done that, they almost certainly would've gotten what they wanted, but often people expect men to be the one to initiate, and no matter what gender you are it's scary to do anyways.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 15 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Sorry bro, but some women may want to be asked, and some women find it to be an immediate red flag weird thing to do demonstrating lack of confidence. You can’t win.

[–] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You don't want the ones who see red flags everywhere. This won't change into the relationship.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago

This is a good and valid point

[–] Anaphylactic_Gock@midwest.social 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I apologize for my gender. We really should've formed a monolithic hivemind so we can all want the same things by now.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

Yeah, get on that!

/s

[–] oshitwaddup@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz 8 points 11 months ago

Eh, some people don't want to be asked, but also, if they can't handle being asked (especially for the first kiss. Later kisses rarely need to be so explicit) then you're probably dodging a bullet anyways.

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 33 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Why did she not try to kiss him? Did he have a bad breath or something?

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Nah that's bullshit on her part.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 9 points 11 months ago

Dating is hard and weird. People do their best while trying to grow and learn from past experiences. Just ask anon.