“But to be clear, although I most certainly know for a fact that the refreshing sparkling water I sell is exceedingly poisonous and should in absolutely no way be consumed by any living (and most dead*) beings, I will nevertheless very heartily encourage you to buy it. What you do with it after is entirely up to you.
*~Exceptions~ ~may~ ~apply.~ ~You~ ~might~ ~be~ ~one.~
Trading your house for a bunch of those $100k watches of good might be a better deal, because at least you’ll be able to hold actual physical excrement in your own hands. With that crypto thing, you just get watch your money vanish on a screen.