this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
423 points (97.5% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 272 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Maybe anon has more luck flirting outside of his household?

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago (2 children)

That, or try breaking his arms.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Yup, more than one way to skin a cat. (BTW, I heard this term as a construction term, as in operating a Caterpillar machine).

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Furiously peels the vinyl off the tractor seat.

[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

slowly peels vinyl off the tractor seat Yup. More than one way.

[–] don@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

I don’t think anon’s mom loves him that much. Anon is anon, after all.

[–] lulztard@lemmy.world 117 points 11 months ago

This could also be a great textbook example of social conditioning. Women and men self-perpetuating gender stereotypes and acting weirded out when they're being violated.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 88 points 11 months ago (4 children)

$100 bucks says Anon is ugly and/or overweight.

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 63 points 11 months ago

Only if the person that made up the fictional character writes it that way.

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 49 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Or just gives off massive fake and gay energy

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 23 points 11 months ago (2 children)

$100 says the green text is an artistic work of falsehood

[–] don@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago

tf? green text is always true, anon never makes shit up.

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

100¢ says anon is a bad flirt.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Naw, that still assumes anon is a real person, telling a real story.

As a rule, anything posted to /b/ is an artistic work of fiction or falshood, and only a fool would believe otherwise

[–] Glitterbomb@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Isn't that exact quote posted on the top of every page on /b/? Wouldn't that make that rule itself an artistic work of fiction?

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 1 points 11 months ago

Almost exactly, yeah

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

"All those women feeding him"

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 42 points 11 months ago

Well, it's probably because he's the leper king of Jerusalem, judging by that mask

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 38 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If your mom is nice to you she simply protects her assets. Her behaviour towards you is in no way an indicator on how attractive you are for potential partners from outside your family.

Her behaviour towards you however may be an indicator on how attractive you are for potential partners inside your family.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago

ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

[–] TORFdot0@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago
[–] lol_idk@lemmy.ml 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Problem: Anon keeps trying to date his mom

Solution: Anon needs to try using a dating service or app

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

Or his sisters. Anon has options.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

Being raised by women doesn’t make you a pussy magnet anon.

[–] comrade19@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

Time for reform

[–] bestboyfriendintheworld@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 months ago (3 children)

What no male role models does to a mf.

[–] SitD@lemy.lol 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'm kind of surprised what gets downvoted these days.. do people actually not know that humans are imitation learners in almost every social and scientific aspect? 😨

[–] pancakes@sh.itjust.works 14 points 11 months ago

In the same vein I'm shocked how little reading comprehension people have these days (such as this comment) and how people and how quickly people jump to align any information with their worldview. The post even said "majority" with no indication that the father wasn't around. For example someone that has two siblings, both sisters would fit that category.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago

op had no male role models because the entire scenario is completely made up for attention on the internet