I say I'm sick, boss doesn't care
That's why I squirt a shit all over his chair
thefartographer
joined 1 year ago
If you're not first, you're last
And when you do die, you won't see it coming!
I really don't wanna upvote this, but I can't not
I already didn't!
The good news is that it's true—if you hang around the trendy yet modest parts of NYC that my sister used to frequent, you'll run into a crazy number of celebrities
Whether Jim remembers or cares, who knows.
I like to think that he occasionally reminds his agent about that time they dropped the ball for that Tuesday lunch.
Next time, shout, "OH MY GOD, YOU MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD THAT I PISSED MYSELF!!!"
The best kind of partner would take that as a compliment and probably want to go on more dates to see if they could do it again.
When I lived in New Jersey, I'd sometimes visit my sister in NYC and usually we'd hit up a comedy club. One time, Jim Gaffigan wandered in and did 10 minutes, totally killed it.
During his set, he mentions that he's a regular person and just wants to be treated the same way we'd treat any of our friends. I gave him a high five as he exited near my table.
A couple weeks later, I see him walking down the street, I say "hey Jim!" And he responds "hey..." like he was confused why he didn't know me. The next time I saw him randomly on the street, I asked if we're still on for lunch on Tuesday. He stopped walking and asked "what?" I kept waking and shouted, "great! See you on Tuesday!"
The following Tuesday, I made no attempt to see Jim Gaffigan for lunch the same way I would for any friend who didn't give me their number or make a true attempt to confirm plans.
After my dad died, I moved back to Texas and haven't seen Jim Gaffigan since. So now I talk shit about about him behind his back like I would for any unreliable friend.
Tldr: had three brief interactions with Jim Gaffigan, dude is incredibly patient and pleasant. 10/10, would invite him to lunch and not show up again cuz he's an unreliable asshole of a friend.
Engineer: I created new technology that can make us rich beyond our wildest dreams because of the number of people it'll benefit!
Billionaires: Let's tweak that a little. I'd rather decide who has to be poor
Because of the sun doing what it is, chucking our worldly problems onto it will only make it more sun
Memes so dank, they'll sink a bank
I really don't care what starts the revolution, but I'd be pleased as punch if history books of the future had to note that gamers ate the first CEO after he shit on their favorite devs