this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
935 points (96.4% liked)

Greentext

4430 readers
897 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

drop your childhood stories:
>be me, age 12
>hate showering more than anything
>it feels gross and i hate getting wet
>my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner
>i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
>let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
>quickly wet my hair with sink
>mom buys it, i get dindin
>after a month she gets suspicious
>realize i have to step up my game
>now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
>also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist
>she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet
>come up with final version of my genius plan
>i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
>then i'll rinse off in the sink
>all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 251 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Kids are great. Mine spend 5-10 minutes refusing to do a two minute task.

Kind of like how I spend three or four days avoiding a ten minute phone call.

[–] AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 80 points 10 months ago (5 children)

I am currently on month 6 of not calling the dentist about a painful tooth

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 60 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Not the flex you think it is lol

Seriously, get your teeth fixed. It’s such a huge impact on your quality of life, especially later in life when that damage really starts to affect your eating habits or self confidence

[–] Duranie@literature.cafe 70 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I wouldn't call it a flex. But sometimes openly admitting something even to strangers on the Internet can offer some ownership of the situation and start someone headed the right direction.

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 14 points 10 months ago

Yeah I was mostly joking. With a bit of good advice sprinkled on top

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not to mention, you could literally fucking die from a tooth infection if left untreated.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 5 points 10 months ago

And miss out on all this!? *gestures wildly at everything*

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 10 points 10 months ago

It doesn't seem like they were trying to flex

[–] 7u5k3n@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Broke a tooth on a pizza crust once.. 5 years later it abscessed and I had to have emergency surgery to have it removed.

Fun times :/

[–] Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If you broke your tooth on a pizza crust, there was definitely something wrong with that pizza!

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm just waiting Americans to come in and tell that actually that's just Houston style pizza or some shit and it's supposed to be like that (also it's a cube, don't worry about it)

[–] Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Houston lobbied for the FDA to permit the addition of glass shards to pizza dough as a bulking agent. What doesn't kill your teeth and internal organs can only make you stronger!

[–] 7u5k3n@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Haven't eaten there since... Can't afford the medical bills. Haha

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago

That sounds awful. I hope you get your teeth sorted out. Somehow.

[–] Zoot@reddthat.com 4 points 10 months ago

Fuck me i think I'm on my way to living the pain you had to endure... Maybe I can get another few years like you... maybe

[–] problematicPanther@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

dude, i feel you. going to the dentist sucks so much i sometimes will just deal with a painful face instead.

[–] qevlarr@lemmy.world 35 points 10 months ago (4 children)

"dinner is ready in two minutes"

Two minutes later, dinner ready

"but I just started a new game!"

🙄

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 20 points 10 months ago

Don't accept that lol

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 10 points 10 months ago

"Why did you do that when you knew dinner was going to be ready in two minutes?"

"dunno"

:/

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 1 points 10 months ago

“but I just started a new game!”

Too bad, you either quit that game right now or no videogame/computer for you for the next 2 days.

[–] CJOtheReal@ani.social 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

4 days... I've been avoiding some phone calls for straight up 3 years now, the people probably think im dead.

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] CJOtheReal@ani.social 2 points 10 months ago

Eh basically... They wanted something from me, left a invoice that i should call back...

I just don't wanna do it...