this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2025
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[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 48 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Exactly! Why the fuck would anyone want to date someone that much younger than them? I will never understand why so many men want to date girl so young.

younger partners are easier to control.

and less worldly experience means they won't notice their dull personality.

lack of maturity and life milestones to date similar age ranges.

over emphasis on bodily needs.

and i repeat, control.

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 40 points 3 days ago (4 children)

A friend of friend I’ve met a couple times is into me. They’re 23 and I’m 30 and I still don’t have an interest. They’re perfectly nice, but…

I think after 28-30 it starts to really not matter that much but before that even smallish gaps can be pretty questionable. And any dude that would consider someone their age to be a “hag” probably largely dates younger because mature, experienced women can tell they’re really just garbage man-children.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

really just garbage man-children

It's a green-text, we knew that from the get-go

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yes, but even people who don’t go online much, even people I actually do care about in my own life, still fall into that category. The people I care about tend to be much nicer and wouldn’t call someone a hag but they do lack a certain level of maturity. Green-text makes it near certain but it’s a “not all rectangles are squares” situation.

[–] stevedice@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

Oh, but all rectangles are squares if we shoehorn a non-standard metric (this comment has absolutely nothing to do with the thread and it's just a dumb math joke).

I agree with this. For me, so so much integral growth happens between ages 20 and 26-28 or so, and I don't really think people in general know who they are or what they want in life until then. Not true for everyone of course. All the people I know who married young are either divorced or super unhappy though so it may skew my perception a bit.

[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Oh 100%. I knew a guy that was my age, that was always trying to date younger, because no women our age would deal with his bullshit. So... I guess I do understand, huh.

For real. When I was 24, I dated a 19 year old for like two weeks. They were really nice and interesting, but ultimately the age gap proved to make a relationship unviable. I can't even imagine a nine year gap at that age. Gross.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (2 children)

People are feeling all kinds of pressure these days. If they want to have kids they need a lot of resources. But having a lot of resources is really difficult to do when you’re young. So that naturally suggests a compromise: one old with resources and one young with health.

[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Wait, but I thought men hated "gold diggers"? And also, that's the result of our fucked up late stage capitalism economic system and not how things should work. A young couple should be able to afford to live comfortably and have children if they want.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

People make life choices based on how things are, not how they ought to be.

Generally a “gold digger” refers to a young woman who marries an elderly rich man with the intent of gaining a large inheritance, not a young woman who marries an established (but still working) man a few decades her senior with the intent of raising a family. A big “gold digger tell” is that the rich guy already has adult children who end up in a feud with his new young wife (because she represents a threat to their inheritance).

[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oh really? I thought it ment a women marring for money in general.

People can do what they want, but women shouldn't have to feel like they have to marry some dude a decade older just to have a decent life and start a family. That's all I'm saying.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Sure, they shouldn’t, but that’s life now. You gotta have a lot of money to have children today.

[–] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago

Some men love gold diggers my uncle is one such man. In his own words "gold digger are the easiest lay".

It's fucked beyond measure

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

What I mean I've been alive a long time. I'm not sure how I was supposed to accrue resources through that though.

Also who wants to date a 19 year old they'd be really annoying.

[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Maybe you need to flip the idea and date a rich 19y/o Instead

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

The question is “why would anyone want to date someone much younger than them (presumably up to a couple decades)?” not specifically about dating a 19 year old.

Not everyone can accrue a bunch of resources over time of course. But your odds of doing so are much better in your working years than when you’re in school.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean, i'd like to date someone that much older than me.

[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Why? (Genuine question if you feel like sharing) Like, I too prefer older partners, but not that much older.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Honestly, because i'm a 20 something year old man with no life experiences and I don't know how to survive on my own. Someone older with more experience who would be willing to teach me would be nice. It's a big ask I guess. I don't really know what else to do. I'm lonely and i'd like to meet someone kind, caring, and beautiful who can be a friend, lover, and teacher if you will. I haven't told anyone this because it makes me sound desperate and like a lost cause.

[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 days ago

Ah, I see. I understand. That's a big part of why I like older partners too.