this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2026
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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Why do I want to try this now
Because you touch yourself at night!
I feel seen.
...does that make it better for you?
I touch myself during the day because a dick in my hand is super fucking hot. Usually its not mine but if thats all I got, I gotta get it.
He says, as he has a profile pic of Andre the giant. Who's dick was said to be bigger than some peoples arms....
sees username
Oh....
Do we need to link you a suicide prevention hotline?
With eating habits like Anon, you're just asking for heart failure.
Extremely slow suicide
Socially acceptable suicide
Nah thats called living life normally. Anon's got the Fast Trak Frequent Flier Plan.
Only once
Idk about ranch, but sour cream works very well with anything tomato-based, with mild-ish hot sauces, or with mustard. It's preferable to not mix the two sauces too much, so they both can be felt on the tongue.
Or, you can mix sour cream with strawberry jam and dip pancakes into it. Better yet, wrap marinated mushrooms in crepes and dip that.
I know this is gonna sound weird but big trust me on this one chief:
Cream Cheese and A1 steak sauce. Use in a ratio of like 2 or 3 to 1 part A1. Don't mix it, just drizzle on top of the cream cheese. Works best on toasted bread or crackers.
Good as an appetizer for parties and gatherings. You can also sub the steak sauce for raspberry chipotle sauce, but I find A1 is easier to get.
Jimmy deans breakfast sausage in a tube sautéed, drain grease well, fry hot or sweet peppers plus onions in the pan. Mix in a crock pot and put on low till its melted. Then keep it on warm.
Big dippers
okay i'm gonna blow your mind. they got this stuff called labne. it's like sour cream and cream cheese fucked. it's absolutely delicious. you gotta try it