this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 224 points 11 months ago (3 children)
  1. Meet woman, don't be weird.

  2. Gradually build a loving, trusting relationship.

  3. She has to get surgery and she'll be bed-bound while she recovers.

  4. "Will you take care of me, Anon?"

  5. Lord of the Rings marathon. The director's cuts. She can't run.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 91 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The long setup. "Babe, you agreed to stay in sickness and in health. This is my sickness."

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Narrator: But she didn't stay.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 31 points 11 months ago (1 children)

She died during the Battle of Helm's Deep

[–] thr0w4w4y2@sh.itjust.works 17 points 11 months ago

But inside she was already dead

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 33 points 11 months ago

Just do old school style and read her the Silmarillion.

Make sure to get the annotated version.

[–] Banichan@dormi.zone 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Return of the King was the first and only movie I've seen that had an intermission. Keep in mind this was only the theatrical version!

[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Then go see 2001 A Space Odyssey. Wait until the IMAX release comes around.

[–] Banichan@dormi.zone 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That movie is like taking 500 quaaluds

[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 4 points 11 months ago

But what an intermission!