this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 61 points 7 months ago

Anon encounters another channer in the wild

[–] EmoDuck@sh.itjust.works 52 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

be me

sitting on the toilet at the bouldering gym

suddenly weird feeling on my feet

look down

oh crap, I accidentally shat my socks

suddenly, an idea

see OPs post for rest of the story

[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 16 points 7 months ago

Explain thy how the fuck.

[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

A friend of mine (not me, I swear) once got sudden diarrhoea and shat his pants in public. He "found" a comparatively clean pair of underpants in the locker room, put them on instead and skedaddled. No one ever found out.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Could have just gone commando...

[–] Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 7 months ago

Yea using someone else's underwear sounds way more discussing than just going commando.

[–] Buelldozer@lemmy.today 38 points 7 months ago

$10 says that Anon is female.

[–] phorq@lemmy.ml 30 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I wonder if they could invent socks with a toe-print reader and a silent gps alarm... And while we're at it, let's add some exercise tracking stuff for runners. Only $500 and a monthly subscription!

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 29 points 7 months ago (1 children)

$500, monthly subscription, and your GPS and foot data get sold for advertising purposes

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Consider it an investment if you can also sell the realtime state of your feet via onlyfans. Even better if there’s an amateur podiatry chat for the real freaks.

“The way they’re curling their toes, they gotta be doing something good.”

“Get arch support”

“Sleep chat?”

“Seriously, get arch support”

[–] shininghero@kbin.social 14 points 7 months ago

"I use Arch (support) BTW"

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 27 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

But socks are worn under the shoes, not the pants

[–] i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 7 months ago

Not if your pants are long enough.

Checkmate atheists.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 13 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I'm repulsed and afraid.

The “repulsed” bit I totally get. What are they “afraid” of, though? That it’ll happen again?

Are they afraid for humanity in general? There are much worse things out there, pal. Read the news sometime.

[–] BlemboTheThird@lemmy.ca 38 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's reasonable to be afraid that someone who stole JUST your socks might be stalking you or something

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 8 points 7 months ago

Okay, that makes sense. Thanks.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 12 points 7 months ago

Media is conveniently silent on this sock stealing epidemic

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Cubbie? WTF? Every gym I've ever been to had lockers. you can't steal socks if they're behind a padlock (typically).

[–] amzd@kbin.social 1 points 7 months ago

My bouldering gym has cubbies, basically a closet without doors, that are located facing the climbing area

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 6 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Why did he take his socks off to go bouldering?

[–] SmoothIsFast@lemmy.world 19 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You wear most climbing shoes without socks.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Huh, i always wore socks and no one told me otherwise. Wack

To be fair i was never doing anything too difficult

[–] Sigh_Bafanada@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

Some climbing shoes are designed to use with socks, but many are designed to be used without.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 7 points 7 months ago

I kinda wondered the same, since back when I climbed if I forgot my liner socks I would skip the climbing wall.

But I had janky shoes and I also recall there being climbers who insisted socks were bad and stupid since they inhibited toe movement.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.ca 1 points 7 months ago

I don't think I ever saw anyone with socks

[–] ByGourou@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 months ago

The same happened to me at the pool when I was 10. I just thought it was weird back then, now I'm disgusted.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I forgot socks once, because I was wearing sandals. I contemplated doing this. I didn't though.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago

Most places have cameras, assuming this isn't a changing room. Most gyms have cubbies just on the side, in the open.

So, talk to the staff, figure it out.

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

Maybe they'll get them back... when whoever took them is done with them.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works -4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Good thing that didn't happen to me, I would have went through the all the cubbies and took someone else's socks.

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

You… would prefer stealing someone else’s used socks to wear while going home instead of, you know, not doing that and just going home? 🤨

[–] FilterItOut@thelemmy.club 1 points 7 months ago

It's the ciiiiiiiiircle of the gym sooooooocks and it ruules us aaaaaaaall