this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2023
797 points (97.4% liked)

Greentext

4459 readers
852 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works
797
Anon meets a girl at uni (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 11 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
37 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
top 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 132 points 11 months ago (3 children)

She's definitely going to harvest his organs

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago

Ah, probably wasn't using most of them anyways.

[–] ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

They probably aren't worth much to much cholesterol

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Still delicious though

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

I can’t believe it’s not butter!

[–] kromem@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

No, just harvest his green card.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 109 points 11 months ago (2 children)

A friend of mine has a dog named Princess. Princess happens to be a 60-pound male pitbull.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago

Alternative names: Tiny, Snoop, Diesel, Thor, Tank, Smalls.

[–] CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 84 points 11 months ago (1 children)

about to correct her as she's giggling

Anon saved from himself by being so slow

[–] joyjoy@lemm.ee 18 points 11 months ago

That was a close one. He almost mansplained animals.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 80 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Just make sure you don’t fall asleep at her place!

(or you might wake up with a headache in the trenches near Avdiivka, wearing a Russian uniform)

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 39 points 11 months ago (2 children)

the trenches near Avdiivka, wearing a Russian uniform

Wow, the supply situation for Russia has really improved then

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Stalingrad, 1942: one out of two gets a rifle

Bahmut, 2022: one out of two gets a stick

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Uose stick to hit drone out of sky, comrade!

[–] InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

Every other soldier gets a uniform. When that soldier dies, the naked ones can take their uniforms from the corpse.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Not again!

[–] Legendsofanus@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Atleast it's not Tamriel this time

[–] Furball@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago

And feeling a wee bit lighter

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 45 points 11 months ago (5 children)

What's with the play button in the middle?

[–] corrupts_absolutely@sh.itjust.works 78 points 11 months ago (1 children)

naked greentexts proved unpopular, they now all feature subway surfers gameplay

[–] metaStatic@kbin.social 12 points 11 months ago

it's the only thing that makes anything bearable.

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 13 points 11 months ago

In case you like videos better

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

It's a screen cap from tiktok.

[–] owatnext@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

It made me feel like I had a floaty in my eye I couldn't get rid of.

[–] stevestevesteve@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm not seeing any play button?

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 17 points 11 months ago (2 children)

[–] stevestevesteve@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Oh shit I must be blind

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Is this a screencap of a tiktok of a greentext?