this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
647 points (97.8% liked)

Greentext

4430 readers
1039 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] corus_kt@lemmy.world 159 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (9 children)

Swimming's really good for losing weight, no sweating and less knee pain involved. Wish I had a private pool too, you can definitely tell the public ones are 30% filled with piss.

[–] RickyRigatoni@lemmy.ml 60 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My private pool would be 70% filled with piss.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

20% cum, 10% shit and 100% drinking from it

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And a 100% reason to remember my name

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] bfg9k@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I find it funny that there is an acceptable level or urea in a pool and it's like 10% lol

[–] Chobbes@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago (4 children)

This is sort of how everything works, unfortunately! Guaranteeing 0% of something is really hard. Your flour probably has a small percentage of bugs in it, for instance. Urea is a relatively small molecule that I imagine you can find tiny amounts of pretty much anywhere. I would be unsurprised if there was at least one molecule of urea in literally anything you eat!

That said, dear god I hope I’ve never been in a pool that’s 10% urine :(. Those kiddie pools at the water park are probably like 90% urine, though. Sometimes I wonder if by volume adults pee in the pool more than kids, though. I have a suspicion a good chunk of adults think it’s fine or will do it secretly anyway.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] stockRot@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

You definitely sweat when you swim. People need to rehydrate while swimming, even indoors

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] woobie@lemmy.world 137 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Your metabolic rate can be several times higher in a pool or other body of water than it is on land without any exercise at all. Body heat is lost at a much higher rate when you are submerged in water and your body will burn more fuel to maintain core temperature.

[–] some_designer_dude@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago (7 children)

So why isn’t “a long cold bath every day” the trendiest weight loss method??

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 47 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is something fighters do when they're going extreme weight loss before a weight in. I'm addition to dehydrating themselves and eating clean, they have several different cold exposure methods that causes the body to burn more calories.

[–] trafficnab@lemmy.ca 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

several different cold exposure methods

"Cough in my face, I need to lose weight!"

[–] Kalothar@lemmy.ca 8 points 10 months ago

Yes, get sick, increase that body temp, increase that thermogenesis , burn those calories. Don’t be weak.

[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 months ago

Because it still isn't going to make that extra large pizza disappear.

[–] xor@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

well, it cures ALS at least...

[–] hakobo@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge was wildly successful, raising over $200m and leading to identifying 12 genes that play a critical role in ALS

https://wgntv.com/news/medical-watch/the-money-raised-by-the-als-ice-bucket-challenge-will-give-you-chills/

[–] xor@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago

yes, that is indeed what i was referring to

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Thanks. I've had that theory for years, but you just articulated it much better than I could.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 93 points 10 months ago

This is why they say find an activity you enjoy.

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 88 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Swimming is amazing for the elderly as well as the heavily obese. Buoyancy takes all the load off joints/cartilage and significantly reduces wear or arthritic pain while still providing consistent, firm resistance to movement that burns calories.

[–] Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago

In Iceland all the public pools are full of old people. Due to geothermal energy, all outdoor pools in Iceland are heated, even in winter. I think it's a really great public health program honestly.

[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 82 points 10 months ago (22 children)

All you need is rich parents

[–] jak@sopuli.xyz 43 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Or the wherewithal for and availability of a public one

[–] 1371113@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago

Or to live near a lake or beach.

[–] Baketime@kbin.social 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] AGD4@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

~~Like your mom~~

^I^ ^had^ ^to^ ^sorry^

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (21 replies)
[–] KISSmyOS@lemmy.world 68 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Anon ate a normal, healthy diet for the first time in their adult life.

[–] AGD4@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago

That was my first thought, lol. Anon's folks prepared healthy meals for them.

[–] LUHG_HANI@lemmy.world 68 points 10 months ago (3 children)

When did it change from .jpg to .webp?

[–] Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de 24 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] Killer@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Webp is just a more data efficient format, lots of sites are switching to it because it can greatly decrease bandwidth and storage costs.

[–] Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de 29 points 10 months ago

I don't think anyone here was unfamiliar with what a .webp was besides maybe @VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world. OP was just pointing out it's weird to see a greentext using anything besides .jpg

[–] Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The only problem is that basically no software supports it, so if you're saving pictures for a slideshow or something, webp is impossible to use.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I'm on the upper end of generation Z and I've never heard or seen webp at all. .jpg is the one I've seen used.

[–] Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Well I would hope there aren't any 290 pound 13-year-old gen alphas out there

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Ragdoll_X@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] LolaCat@lemmy.ca 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I was going to reply with a .jxl meme, but it turns out Lemmy doesn't support it, which is a genuinely better .jxl joke than anything I would've made.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SeabassDan@lemmy.world 61 points 10 months ago (11 children)

Jokes aside now anon's gotta make sure to use sunscreen, or he's only trading in one killer for another.

load more comments (11 replies)
[–] go_go_gadget@lemmy.world 42 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'd argue the most difficult part about losing weight is boredom.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Yeah. You can’t outrun your fork, but you can’t mindlessly snack because you’re bored on a bicycle.

You underestimate my power

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] doublejay1999@lemmy.world 35 points 10 months ago (1 children)

30lbs in 2 weeks using this one neat trick.

Ok anon.

[–] EtherWhack@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Well, they never mentioned they ate anything in those two weeks, just bobbed around in the pool

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›