"ma'am, the penis's owner, you, literally told me to put a condom on it. Not sure how much more consent I could have."
this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
662 points (96.0% liked)
Greentext
4925 readers
1134 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Some bitch told me to put the condom I thought she got the consent
Doubtful that a rubber dong is capable of communicating consent, and you can't grant consent on behalf of another. Anon might indeed be a rapist, but girl is a sex trafficker.
Why is everyone getting angry at this woman who most likely doesn't even exist
It's fun and risk free
People love hating people. Simple as
Turns out, engaging with the hypothetical creates more interesting discussion than saying "fake" and nothing else.
True, but in this case it feels like beating up a woke strawman
It happens to every greentext post on lemmy, gotta bring em back down to reality and let them know it's fake and gay.
Greentexts are improv comedy and everyone is polite enough to play along instead of trying to argue what is clearly a made-up story for laughs
The entire premise of the green-text is that it's an autistic work of fiction. Pointing that out is redundant.
Fake: anon speaks to a woman
Gay: anon investigates model penises
Case closed, we can wrap this one up boys.
Only after asking for consent
Being asked to do a task by the person responsible for administering the task automatically obviates you from being classified as a rapist.
"We were only following orders."
load more comments
(11 replies)
"Did you ask them for their consent before putting them here on display, naked?"
"If you have an issue with being out on display, say no"
"....."
load more comments
(1 replies)
Shoulda put the condom on your own penis. 🤦♂️
Still missing consent agreement
This is difficult for people with schizophrenia
Reminds me of that bit on The Office about safe sex. Darryl says something like "Oh, I didn't know we were doing trick questions. What's the safest way to go skiing? Not go skiing."
Ask the ski boots for consent before shoving your foot in them.
Penis model can't consent.
Girl is de-facto guardian.
Girl implies consent by inviting anon to try it.
If someone sprung that trap on me, I'd say "no, it's a toy. A toy doesn't have any consent right or consciousness.... just like a woman" and than I'd just walk away. If you want to be cunts, ww can be cunts
That's a pretty toxic joke dude
It's not a joke, it's an expression of my disgust for the entrapment.
Normal people have the intelligence required to express disgust without insulting all women.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Still funny
Was it because OP deftly applied the condom by mouth?
"I hereby give you my consent to put a condom on my penis, random penile scientist girl."
Either this only happened to the FOAF of someone interviewed on FoxNews, or if it did, it was a false-flag operation organised by Turning Point or some similar group to radicalise young men against feminism and consent culture, as anyone who gave it a moment’s thought would see that that would be its outcome.
Or, girl was flirting and op missed his big chance!:
girl: You didn't ask for consent.
op: [hands penis statue back] Can you show me?
girl: [asks penis for consent. Mimics penis responding 'yes' in Muppet voice. Proceeds to slowly and erotically apply condom while maintaining eye contact with op.]
op: I'm not getting it. Do you offer private tutoring?
Oh, they’re real penises of actual models, not model penises.
"Sorry, it was my first time with a dildo."
(stare in silence for a moment too long... go ahead... respond...
What did you use the other times 🙄
Oh, I'm vegan...
After watching a lot of Game Changer, where they always ask for concent for the mannequins, I would also ask just for the bit.
What if he didn't have a condom?
Reddit spacing
Best come back is did you ask before?
view more: next ›