this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My dad had a similar story. When he got recalled they had to shoot a bunch of nearly depleted ammo for 155 mm arty.

They sit in the field waiting for the command to fire. Guy that has the pull cord had been smoking some weed and was sitting behind the gun drumming.

One of his beats is with the hand in which he has the cord, it was slightly to strong. The gun fires and he gets the recoiling breech block in his face.

My dad jumps on him and keeps his tongue from sliding back in the guys throat. Shouts at the commanding officer to get a medic, finally the guy gets wheeled out by an ambulance. Nothing heard from the guy.

Years later, in a bar he hears some drumming he recognizes. It's the same guy, he got small fracture at the base of his skull and got an army pension for life. Buys the beers for my dad the rest of the evening.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

he gets the recoiling breech block in his face

I expected to respond to this with the sad crab meme captioned "this kills the recruit". That guy must have an amazingly thick skull.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 16 points 1 day ago

He was incredibly relaxed, which might have saved him. You see this with drunk drivers too.

[–] Wutchilli@feddit.org 86 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I want to belive that this is true (and gay)

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 77 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Anon is attending the guys wedding bc theyre the ones getting married.

Nah... He's marrying the drill sergeant.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Directed by JJ Abrams.

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 day ago (4 children)

It would be great but OP would be from a country that doesnt speak English and the theme song probably wouldn't be English either. I've watched Bob l'éponge and the song is French.

[–] Lyre@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I learned today that Singapore has mandatory military service and a majority English speaking population... So there's a chance

Negligence discharge will make you wish you were dead though

[–] Yondoza@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Switzerland has it too, and while English isn't the official language almost everyone speaks it.

[–] b0gl@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Vem bor i en ananas djupt i det blå? Svampbob Fyrkant!

[–] tostiman@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Hij woont in een ananas diep in de zee! Spongebob Squarepants!

[–] tostiman@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wait, so blåhaj means sea shark? I thought it was blue shark

[–] b0gl@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

Blå means Blue and it's kind of a slang word for sea

[–] Yorick@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Reading this I'm pretty sure that's the kind of goofing you end up in at the Swiss army.

Tho having a 300m target distance on your first rifle shooting test seems far to me.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Russian army is big on spongebob songs.

[–] GNUmer@sopuli.xyz 36 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Unless Anon served in the Russian army, accidentally shooting a rock 10m away would be quite a serious safety breach leading to a good amount of investigations.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 23 points 1 day ago

Anon is on 4chan and mentioned mandatory service...so yeah, probably Russia or a former Soviet state.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 18 points 1 day ago

That's why anon is going to that guy's wedding next week; both were kicked out of army.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

In Russian army, rock shoots you.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 45 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Generals totally watch new recruits shoot for the first time.

[–] ochi_chernye@startrek.website 40 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I mean, occasionally they do. Always popping up where you least expect (or want) them, in my experience.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Would you say that it happens in...

...general?

[–] Jumi@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

What happens in the general stays in the general

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Aye aye Captain!

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

not sure, but i know where the general keeps his armies...

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

It happens in private.

[–] JustAnotherKay@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

@Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world

Yeah, had a navy friend who met 2 different admirals during boot camp and 2 more at their first training command. Some times the sharks like to swim in the ponds

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 day ago

I have heard in eastern countries its a bit more common to see them compared to western ones

[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

And completely neglects the chain of command to directly berate a drill sergeant. That's like the CEO of McDonald's going to a franchise to berate the guy making fries.

And the recruits shoot for their first time at 300 meters.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 2 points 1 day ago