this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2025
373 points (94.9% liked)

Greentext

5205 readers
1133 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] SARGE@startrek.website 35 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I genuinely think the author just put those two together because they knew everyone was expecting Harr-mione to happen. Tried to subvert expectations.

[–] VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

IIRC, she said it was wish fulfillment on her part, with Hermione standing in for JKR and Ron being like someone JKR liked when she was younger.

[–] straightjorkin@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I mean, she was very reactionary with her writing book to book.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 85 points 2 days ago (2 children)

triwizard champion

you mean the tournament where all his real competition was taken out by voldemort?

[–] Float@startrek.website 4 points 1 day ago

You don't win the Daytona 500 without a few cars wrecking

[–] Zana@startrek.website 54 points 2 days ago

A win is a win.

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 59 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The books imply that Harry doesn't find Hermione very attractive. (Remember: Hermione isn't Emma Watson.)

[–] Ummdustry@sh.itjust.works 31 points 2 days ago

fake: The books forgot Hermiones buck teeth gay: Harry doesn't find Emma Watson attractive.

[–] LolaCat@lemmy.ca 63 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Don’t forget ron was also British

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 18 points 2 days ago

They all were?

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 43 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Harry was from Surrey doesnt count.

Im a Californian I am just talking shit with no backing.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 1 day ago

I imagine most Americans picture something like Surrey when they imagine rural England.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Surrey is as British as it gets!

[–] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 2 points 1 day ago

Na The Shire is in Matamata

And Potter had Harry palms

[–] Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 27 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Harry potter doesn't really fit into the chosen one archetype any more than anyone else. The only person that "chose" him is his mom, which makes him equally special to almost every other person on the planet.

Anyway, fuck jk rowling

[–] SorteKanin@feddit.dk 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The only person that “chose” him is his mom, which makes him equally special to almost every other person on the planet.

Honestly it's kinda fucked that in the HP universe, apparently no other mother than Lily loved their child enough to sacrifice themselves and use this love protection magic on them.

[–] Wetstew@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's a shame, seems like it would have been super easy to handwave, but they never do.

Voldemore's soul was uniquely shattered and was apparently freshly injured to make another horcrux after murdering Harry's family, the cruelty he showed in giving her multiple outs to abandon her son, most likely to kill her anyway.

Holy/white magic is such a cool element in a magic system, especially with how undercooked HP's is. "This wizard was particularly fucked and unknowingly was the perfect catalyst for white magic to spontaneously manifest to correct"

Like, there was food on the table, and she has wizards shitting themselves despite the castle having bathrooms.

I haven't said it today, so: fuck JKR for being a transphobic asshole.

[–] CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

Sword of Truth series has some very cool ancient white magic in the world that you get to see.

A few books in it goes balls deep into libertarianism and becomes unreadable but it's fun while it lasts lol.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 30 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Trelawney made a prophecy and Voldemort decided Harry fit the bill, although Neville also met the criteria. Voldemort went to the Potter house to kill Harry, end his biggest rival before he could grow up, and create a horcrux from the murder of his enemy. Voldemort chose Harry.

Also these books are so fucking racist. "Cho chang". We should stop talking about them.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So much writing has been done about how Cho Chang is a perfectly reasonable name that I don't even understand how it's still out there. It's amazing how disinformation Never Dies.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 1 points 1 day ago

Klaus Columbus

Steven Snorrison

Diogenes de la Firenze

[–] Acters@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

It would have been funny af to watch Neville Longbottom as the main character of the series and the marketing hype train having to tiptoe the last name. I know Harry Potter as a name sounds better but imagine everyone dressing up as Neville for Halloween

[–] rainrain@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)
[–] TomAwsm@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

Potatofamine carbomb

[–] TomAwsm@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Holy shit, I didn't even consider this one until now...

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 41 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's only in the movies though. In the books, Harry is around same height as Ron but lankier.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Wait, does it explicitly write that somewhere?

[–] Forester@pawb.social 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yeah iirc quidditch scenes. When Ron joins the team

[–] rovingnothing29@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

This whole Hermonie thing feels like the new Rei vs Asuka. People are going to get worked up over this for the next 40 years for no reason.

[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 16 points 2 days ago

Harry Potter connoisseurs bragging around a greentext. Typical beta move.