this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 37 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 27 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Sure, Viking love looks appealing, until your husband starts bringing home sex slaves and teaching your children how to raid England.

The being taught to raid England part seems lit.

[–] Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

since I'd be the husband in this scenario, I don't see what's wrong with it

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Also, I think I would be an equal-opportunity viking raider. My wife would get some English sex slaves of her own for our anniversary.

[–] Natanael@infosec.pub 5 points 3 weeks ago

It wasn't even unusual with female vikings.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 weeks ago

god i love sex

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Take her raiding! Make her your viqueen.

[–] Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org -1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

if you're doing this you're just cucking yourself

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)
  1. And?
  2. If you're not torturing English villagers together with your wife during the winter, is it even a viking marriage?
[–] FarmTaco@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

you know what they say; the couple who pillages together, stays together.

[–] Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 3 weeks ago

I've never said anything against torturing english villagers

[–] Vanilla_PuddinFudge@infosec.pub 3 points 3 weeks ago

It's an open relationship, fundie.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

MFW people keep trying to romanticize the Viking lifestyle

Our culture is not a costume.

I need more of this show

[–] ssfckdt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

They're the same picture.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Ah, I see, Anon wishes he gets cuddles and intamacy in a heteroromantic way.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

No no. It's the perfectly round unblemished skin and hair that's so full-bodied it practically defies gravity.