it's called a high-functioning alcoholic and it's not based
this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2025
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Getting fucked up before going to work? Hell yeah. Shaking and sweating by noon? Not so fun.
Yeah, usually by the time you're in the morning drinking (and not on vacation or something lol).
You're also in the physical withdrawal symptoms, which can kill people or fuck up their brains
I mean, more than a few drinks a week will fuck up your brain.
~~more than a few drinks a week~~
More than 0. There is no save amount of alcohol. But almost nothing we do is save. Go outside in the sun? Cancer! Eat fat/sugar? Heart/Liver failure! Stress from work and doomscrolling? Depression and anxiety!
Choose your poison, but know it is poisonous! Cheers 🍻
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Yeah, I lived like this for maybe thirty years, in between being a junkie. Gave up pretty much all my indulgences the past couple of years because I'm just too old for that shit and the health debt is coming due. I still smoke weed and take the occasional valium. My addictions saw me through a lot of rough patches, and being mostly sober is hard work - but booze and drugs is not a great way to deal with your problems.
Edit - closer to forty years actually. Oops.
It's far more rampant than even the experts recognize. Hiding alcohol use is simple.
Wake and bake and chronic thc has also been rampant for decades.
yep. needing 4 drinks to get right, that sounds quite severe too. even needing 1 is a massive red flag. when the body shakes the morning after drinking, it can be a sign that your body is no longer able to function without alcohol.
detox will need to be medically managed at that point as cold turkey is now life threatening; quitting drinking will seem impossible and yet has now become more urgent than ever
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When I was younger and worked at a grocery store, I had a coworker confide in me that they stop home on their breaks for a shot of vodka. At the time I saw it as "whatever you have to do to survive!" But now I see it as the massive red flag that it is that she's a functioning alcoholic.
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School bus driver?
“Thank God you’re back, Doctor. ER received a patient with blunt chest trauma, he’s unresponsive and vitals are unstable. The imaging shows organ damage, possibly lung hemorrhage. They’re being prepped for emergency surgery now, the anesthesiologist will brief you in Room E109.”
“Hold my beer.”
*cheese fries
"Does anyone mind if I eat these well I work?"
Scalpel...
Suction...
Fry...
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Q: What do you call a doctor who is three sheets to the wind by mid-afternoon?
A: Doctor.
Buddy of mine worked in health care, did urine testing. He's got stories about people coming in way over the legal limit to drive but come across as sober
Have you ever fucked an alcoholic up the ass?
That shit kind of burns when they haven’t had a solid shit for a month.
Have you ever fucked an alcoholic up the ass?
No
That shit kind of burns when they haven’t had a solid shit for a month.
Ok
Don't do unprotected anal, kids.
But unprotected anal is just the bee’s knees.
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Hope they didn't ticket the school bus
I'm a school bus driver. Last year our union shop steward got pulled over for DUI and blew a .32 which is insane. She was stopped at 3 AM and cited but somehow was at work that same morning at 6:30 AM and drove her normal route. The district found out about her DUI later in the day and she was suspended, but it's clear that she was still horribly fucked up when driving kids.
After more than a week she was allowed to resign rather than being fired, which means she was able to get a job driving for a different district. How she was able to do this with a DUI on her record is a mystery to us, too. She is also a councilwoman in a neighboring town but it's hard to imagine that level of politics gives you immunity from DUI. She did apparently flash her councilwoman ID to the officer that stopped her but that did her no good, at least at the time.
How is being a school bus driver? I lost my job recently and I've been struggling to land another thanks to the current job market. There's a part of me that's hedging and looking at what else I might be able to do for work if I can't land another IT role quickly enough
I absolutely love it, although the best description of the job that I've read is that it combines the jobs of truck driver and zoo keeper (not completely accurate - zoo keepers have bars and thick glass protecting them from the animals). The obvious downside is that it's a major pay hit coming from the programming world like I did. I now make about 1/6 of what I did at my last job. My district pays pretty well (over $30 an hour) and provides health care, but most districts pay less with no benefits so it depends on where you are. I work less than five hours a day and I have enough time between my morning and afternoon routes to go for a bike ride and have lunch and a nap, and I'm able to take my elderly parents to their appointments and such. It really doesn't feel like work and it's a good feeling to know what I'm doing is actually of some benefit to humanity - unlike programming, where I think that 95% of what I did never got used by anybody.
It seems like the IT career world is utterly and hopelessly doomed by AI. My fear is that shit is eventually going to take over driving jobs as well, although I think school bus driving will last a bit longer than other things (hopefully it lasts until I'm dead).
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Investment banker during tariff season.
This is fairly common in the bar/restaurant industry.
Musicians, comedians. Any job where you have to be socially / performatively "on".
Watch old Robin Williams stand-up. He actually goes back stage mid-show to do rails of coke.
I think a lot of politicians also do it.
No, they're usually on a strict diet of paint thinner
A Gigastacy in the wild
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