this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2025
127 points (98.5% liked)

Not The Onion

17294 readers
1815 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 14 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] BremboTheFourth@piefed.ca 34 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Forcing" would be more accurate. "Helping" is a very pointed choice of words here, as that would imply supporting science. Maybe they could start by not promoting policies that reduce access to IVF.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 7 points 3 days ago

He would hook them up to machines if they could, like the ones in some movies and shows.

[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh dear this is gonna cause so much poverty.

that's the goal

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 30 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Hitler had a similiar program.

I'm fully expecting them to introduce "Trump Youth Programs".

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (2 children)

What will they call it? "Young MAGA"? Or just rip off straight from South Park and go with "Lil' Q-uties"?

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I want them to be called the "Make America Great Again Youth", but I'm not sure if the acronym would offend the correct group.

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

"MYAGA"? Make Young Americans Great Again?

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 days ago

My guess is Young Americans. Nobody in US could complain about that without getting lynched.

[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 24 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I'm not sure why anyone would think this is satire. They need fodder for the war machine.

They haven't been quiet about wanting to ban birth control and abortions.

[–] muffedtrims@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

Blessed be the fruit

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 9 points 3 days ago

Wait... The conservatives want sex ed now? Apparently with a practical exam!?

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago
[–] ef9357@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Yeah, they want more kids for their pedophile club. Pretty sure it didn’t stop with Epstein.