this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They call me 007 at work too:

  • 0 tickets finished
  • 0 docs written
  • 7 smoke breaks
[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

This joke brought to you by: dads

[–] Sciaphobia@sh.itjust.works 89 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Probably more than 7 though.

[–] crusa187@lemmy.ml 31 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Came here to say this…it’s way more than 7.

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 17 points 5 days ago

Nah, it's accurate. We're talking about monthly recaps.

[–] frog@feddit.uk 17 points 5 days ago

Oops sorry. It's 007000.

[–] Laser@feddit.org 5 points 5 days ago

Give him a rest, OK? It was a slow day

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Maybe like 7 a day. If Donny can drink a 12 pack of Diet Coke for breakfast I can definitely see that.

[–] sad_detective_man@leminal.space 64 points 5 days ago

"From Russia with Lolita"

[–] Darkard@lemmy.world 37 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The man with the golden toilet

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago
[–] ddplf@szmer.info 27 points 5 days ago (5 children)

I remember 4chan being predominantly MAGA few years back, is this still the case?

[–] Soulg@ani.social 56 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I don't think it's predominantly anything, it's just a bunch of people shit posting

[–] Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Them not doing anything to oust the Nazis allow the Nazis to gather there undeterred. There's been a few documentaries where prominent members of the community talked about how horrifying it was watching the site make such a hard right wing lurch.

Like a lot of users weren't aware of the jokes and took the shit seriously.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 14 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Like a lot of users weren't aware of the jokes and took the shit seriously.

That's called Poe's Law and I swear it's a huge reason why Trump became president the first time in 2016. A ton of his internet presence was just shit posting because no one took his campaign remotely seriously. It was all stupid stuff like "Rubio gets blown the fuck up!! Here comes the Trump Train WOOOOOOWOOOOO!!"

It was all pretty hilarious, until all of a sudden it wasn't. And you realized people had gone from making jokes to taking it all serious. A few years later and our country's democracy is on the brink of collapse.

Crazy shit.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Yep, this is basically what happened, I watched a lot of former friends basically develop along those lines.

They shitposted their way into turning into fascists, going from being mostly unserious, performatively edgy, to ... being extremely serious, genuinely holding these beliefs.

Like 'God Emperor Trump' started off as a joke... then they just went 'no but 4 real he should be a dictator for life.'

You also really, really cannot place enough importance on QAnon, the meta conspiracy framework, that tries(d?) to pull together all conspiracy theories, along a narrative that Trump is secretly waging a war against subversive satanist pedophile Democrats... this is where the whole 12 D chess thing comes from...

And QAnon was born on, and was suckled by 4chan.

Trump kept giving occasional vague nods, using phrases from the QAnon vernacular and such.

In fact, this is arguably what Johnson is clumsily (he is the opposite of a perma online edgelord like Vance or Musk) trying to reference with the FBI Informant thing, this concept that Trump is actually a secret pivotal player in a scheme to thwart essentially a ... literally demonic plot to overthrow the US.

This... the whole reason the Jan 6th insurrection happened was because these morons had been promised basically a religious prophecy that Trump absolutely would win that election, their QAnon dogma made concrete and specific promises akin to an apocalypse cult, and when they did not come to pass, they freaked out, thinking the demons had thwarted God's current agent of destiny on Earth... Trump.

As opposed to, you know, reality, where Trump is a imbecilic criminal mob boss fraudster and serial rapist and also manchurian candidate with a long established track record of literally scamming his own supporters just constantly.

If anyone thinks I am being hyperbolic here... nope, I'm actually underselling how seriously QAnon is a religion more than it is 'a conspiracy theory'.

Go look up all the evangelical QAnon prophets that popped up during this time, it arguably constitutes a 5th Great Awakening, in terms of mass waves of revitalization and reinvention of Christian religious fervor in the history of the US.

Yes, you heard me right, I am telling you that the 5th Great Awakening of Christianity in the US began on 4chan and pretty much directly caused Jan 6th.

EDIT:

Yep, I've now just seen Tim Pool's reaction to /interpretation of Johnson's claim of Trump being an FBI informant... he pretty much does just directly try to roll that all back into 'maybe QAnon is actually real, maybe Trump really is a deep cover whistleblower' without literally using those words.

Its all this Tom Clancy esque spy thriller secret machinations reality for them... Tim just straight up says 'how cool would it be if this was all real'.

Pure escapist fantasy as politics, all motivated reasoning, 0 capacity for or interest in critical thought, you know, like a religious fanatic.

[–] Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I remember watching the infamous sub thedonald turn from making fun of him into being for him. It was insane.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yeah exactly! I was not Republican or even Republican-curious. But I joined /r/thedonald in the early days because it was hilarious. Then all of a sudden it was like "what the fuck? you guys are serious?"

[–] chrislowles@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago

Same, I joined thinking it was some generic anti establishment thing, blowing up and goofing on the Clintons in spite of u/spez's irritation then over the course of a couple months the unironic support started to surface through and it basically became a fanclub.

[–] semperverus@lemmy.world 26 points 5 days ago (1 children)

4chan has a pretty hard and fast rule of contrarianism, in large part because thats what keeps posts from falling off the front page.

They don't use votes there, posts that get replies move to the front page and fall down until they hit 10th page and disappear if they don't get any.

As a result, 4chan will go against whatever the largest voices in modern culture are saying, which for over a decade have been the left wing/liberal ideology. Before that, they were very left-leaning because we were in the Bush era where culture was very traditional/right leaning.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 20 points 5 days ago (3 children)

So it's basically a comtinuous flamewar?

[–] semperverus@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

That actually sums it up perfectly, yea.

[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 1 points 4 days ago

That's a very apt description, yeah

[–] oyfrog@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

/pol/ was/is predominantly MAGA or outright NatSoc chuds. Nearly everywhere else was/is edgelord man children whose opinions are"holier than thou" and always happy to shit on you for the lulz.

[–] squaresinger@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

I got a feeling there was a word for NatSoc... Maybe one that doesn't try to hide what it's about...

[–] EldenLord@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

/pol/ and /b/ and similar are still mostly far right losers. On boards like /news/ or the hobby boards it‘s mostly young liberals or autistic loners spending time on the internet. /x/ is just conspiracy crackheads like it‘s always been.

Oh, and half the posts are trolls anyway.

[–] stevedice@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 days ago

I don't know if MAGA specifically, but it's always been far right so...

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 23 points 5 days ago (3 children)

So deep undercover that nobody knew.

[–] potato_wallrus@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

Not even him

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 days ago

Incorrect, plenty of people knew he was an agent!
His handler, putin, knew. The KGB knew when they recruited him. Quite a lot of Russians knew about it...

[–] GreenShimada@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

Bro, I'm undercover at NASA. Deep deep undercover. I don't even work there, that's how deep under cover I am. I just watch the videos and, like, know what's up, man. I drove by JPL once and I almost blew my cover!

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 days ago

He's like if a deranged shitpost became president.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 15 points 5 days ago

"undercover"? More like "under the covers" trying to force his two incher into unwilling victims. Gross weirdo!

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 5 days ago

Trump would be the kinda annoying asshole who beats Goldeneye on 'Agent' and then runs around saying he totally defeated and mastered the whole game, who then cries and screams when he tries to play through Dam on '00 Agent' for the first time.

President bonespurs here ain't ever even seen, even heard of 007 Mode.

[–] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'm high and not wearing reading glasses and thought it said "Agent .007", which seemed pretty accurate.

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago

Men of his caliber are, indeed, rare.

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 days ago

So lemme get this straight, his defense is that he's claiming he's some kind of secret agent?

[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

007 killed civilians through collateral damage.

Casino Fay-al

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Try not to rape any kids on the way through the parking lot!

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago
[–] EugenKim@discuss.tchncs.de -4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Okay, so undercover informants, huh? Reminds me of old spy flicks, very cloak and dagger! Ever wonder how deep those infiltrators truly go? It's a dangerous game, no doubt. Talk about walking a tightrope! The weight of deception must be crushing. It's definitely not a Slope Game, but the stakes are as high. Once I had to pretend to like polka music to get close to a group planning a surprise party. It was agonizing!

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

pretend to like polka music

Begone, knave!