Greentext

Thanks for this reply. Being GenX isn’t the bed of roses some folks believe it is. I find myself reading more physical books these days than I ever before. Kind of just to take it all in at less than a blur. It’s all whipping by at breakneck speed.

"I think you are the only man I can trust, should we try it out?"

Things that were never said for $2000, Alex

I don’t think I can blame Anon. “Should we try it out?” isn’t exactly stirring my passions, either.

Under the circumstances, it sounds like “you’re my least terrible option left, so maybe I can settle for you. On a trial basis, of course.” Uh, no thanks.

You had me until you brought up how many guys she fucked. Grow up anon

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to date someone years after you had feelings for them. However the body count reference gives me the incel ick.

"She fucked so many guys"

Uh...okay?

IMO anon’s statement about body count was badly phrased, but it makes sense for me under limited circumstances.

For the last few decades, my opinion has held firm on a simple philosophy:

If I never ask out a woman I’m interested in, and they date guy after guy, then I have nothing to complain about. They never knew about my interest, and so they were never given the chance to accept or reject my interest. There is no way in hell that I could hold their body count against them, and I have only myself to blame for not stepping up and asking them out when I had the chance.

But if I do ask a woman out, and they clearly and immediately reject me in favour of someone else, then I am obviously not an interest for them. They have clearly and unambiguously rejected me, so what standing do I have to not believe that? You can’t get a more sure sign. If they then rack up other relationships, each and every one of those is another nail in the coffin of any potential relationship. They have made an explicit statement that I am of far less desirability than other options, and that door closes permanently, and gets barred and locked for good measure.

Because if she comes sniffing around again, then it is screamingly obvious that I am not her second-best, third-best, or even n^th best option… I am her backup-backup-backup plan that she is “settling for” because all of her better options ran out.

And at that point… thanks but no thanks. That’s a path down which I have absolutely no desire to trod, because down that path lies doubt and second-guessing that can only poison me, my mental health, and my happiness. If she had no interest in me when I asked, then I will absolutely trust her for having told me the complete truth, and I will hold that truth as unchanging, unimpeachable gospel.

Fake: anon has a female friend

Gay: anon isn't interested in her

Anon got over their crush and got on with their life, nothing wrong with that at all.

Besides, it sounds like they're about option J here, and it's perfectly okay to not be happy about that.

So many red flags...it's a minefield.

Anon is valid to feel this way. Without condoning or condemning, I understand.

That happened. And then everybody clapped.

Turns out, being rejected by someone you're in love with actually sucks, and that goes double if you were friends with them. Sure you can try and stay friends with them after, but whether that works depends a lot on your state of mind/mental health, the rest of your social circle and the state of your life in general (and on how the rejecter/friend acts, of course). Your average 4chan poster is spectacularly ill-equipped to make it actually work well, even if they somehow aren't somewhat misogynistic.

At the same time, just keeping it to yourself is probably not a good option either, if you're not the type who can actually move on after a while (e.g. by crushing on someone else).

@Early_To_Risa This situation makes me think of the Meatloaf song "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad". There's an interpretation of the song that the first part of it is about a man who tried to love a woman, yet he was turned down. Later in the song, the man is talking about how the woman has come back to him years later, but he has moved on.

Interesting intel fanfic.