this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2025
115 points (96.7% liked)

Not The Onion

18203 readers
1127 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
kescusay@lemmy.world
115
Your Morning Coffee Really Is Making You Happy, Says Study (plantbasednews.org)
submitted 1 day ago by resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
24 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

cross-posted from: https://piefed.social/post/1308380

top 24 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 9 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

It really does. You know what doesn’t make me happy Tariffs

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 hours ago

Yeah, but coffee though!

[–] Visstix@lemmy.world 11 points 16 hours ago

Oh well that explains a lot. I never had coffee

[–] Geodad@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

It also keeps me out of jail.

I'm far less likely to slap the shit out of someone once I'm caffeinated.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

My favourite part of my day is sipping my morning cup, sitting in the back yard and listening to the birds.

[–] lazynooblet@lazysoci.al 13 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

I love doing this. I sit in the back yard with my morning coffee and talk to my chickens. I look forward to it every morning.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

What do the chickens have to say?

[–] RaoulDuke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 hours ago

Cluck cluck motherfucker

[–] Aeao@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Science concludes cocaine does make me more social.

[–] huppakee@piefed.social 3 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

*the first few times you do it.

[–] miked@piefed.social 2 points 5 hours ago

then you're doing it wrong. try adding some alcohol and a little cannabis.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

~~I just wanted to see the methodology for how the study was done, and I am now wondering how the media came to the conclusion that drinking coffee makes you happier based on the study's conclusion, when it is about cardiovascular mortality rates. The study itself makes no mention of happiness or mood.~~

I clicked into the wrong study. That's why 🤦‍♂️

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

No! Science! $$$

[–] somewa@suppo.fi 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

How many of the participants had IBD or IBS?

[–] RaoulDuke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 hours ago

I have IBD. It’s the price I pay for coffee.

[–] 01189998819991197253@infosec.pub 2 points 23 hours ago

Don't worry about that. Look over there!

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Not me cause I chug the whole thing piping hot. Really burns up my mouth but what can you do?

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

Wait for it to cool down so you can taste it when you chug the whole thing luke warm.

[–] Bubs12@lemmy.cafe 7 points 1 day ago

Drink iced coffee?

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You do you, but FUCK that website

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’d rather not fuck an entire website, but if I have to…

unzips pants