this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 51 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Maybe I'm gay, but I've never wanted a bone a woman so bad it got in the way of living my life.

Just jack it and move on bro. It's not that hard.

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I thought I wanted to fuck a woman so badly it got in the way of living my wife.

Turns out I was just trans and thought the feelings of dysphoria would go away if I banged a woman.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

No. If anything I experienced a great dysphoria doing the act because I couldn't help but feel I was "on the wrong side if this."

It's not that I wasn't attracted to women I definitely was. Still am.

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

Iv found jacking to easier when its hard, but hey different stroked for different folks.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Actually, when I started getting some regular exercise, my libido shot up to high school peak levels, and it did kind of get in the way sometimes.

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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 38 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)
> be me
> female, hungry, 15
> only like tasty food
> can't cook any tasty foods
> take pills to induce satiation

Smart or stupid?
[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 49 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Well you don’t die of sexual dissatisfaction, so there’s at least one key difference

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

You’re correct, I don’t die of sexual dissatisfaction.

But more to the point, the sense of hunger, horniness, co2 poisoning, desire for human companionship, etc. are fundamental human experiences that drive our behaviors. Their absence is noticed in more ways than might immediately be apparent. Anon’s tenuous relationship with showering, for instance, might be completely severed in the absence of a sex drive. Hell, it might inhibit his desire to leave home. This could be a death knell.

Also, daily nutrition bags in the arm are an option. Dietary masturbation

[–] Sonor@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Dietary masturbation

Thanks for that image :D

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

Chewing gum: mastecation masturbation

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Sexual dissatisfaction can contribute to bad mental health, especially if you're a lot needier in that regard.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)
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[–] discocactus@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Hit the pharmacy, delete the gym, cowboy up.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 22 points 2 months ago (5 children)

What pills would even do that? I know that anti-depressants can have that effect, but it's usually temporary (i.e. the libido-suppressing effect subsides after taking them for about half a year).

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 18 points 2 months ago

Thanks. Those side effects definitely make anon sound like a dumbass.

[–] rooroo@feddit.org 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I only know a few use cases of chemical castration and now I’m convinced they use “pretty” to mean “underaged”. Yikes.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

and now I’m convinced they use “pretty” to mean “underaged”.

What led you to that conclusion? I'm not seeing it.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They're making reference to pedos being forcibly chemically castrated.

[–] rooroo@feddit.org 8 points 2 months ago

Not necessarily forcefully; apparently it can be also part of a treatment when people notice that what they perceive as preference is a harmful sickness. I don’t see that person be that aware though, fair.

[–] gustofwind@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I’ve never heard of this effect being usually temporary.

If it doesn’t subside in a few weeks it often requires additional medication to solve and to my knowledge, for most people, lasts for as long as you take it

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 9 points 2 months ago

That's been my experience with SSRIs.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Shrug. That's exactly what happened to me when I took anti-depressants. I suppose it might depend on the specific medication.

[–] Lightfire228@pawb.social 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

SSRIs (depression and anxiety meds) can cause decreased libido as a side effect

Edit: I'm dumb and tired, and wrote this before reading the second sentences of your comment

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They don't kill my sex drive, but I sure can't cum wile on them.

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

That sounds like the worst of both worlds.

[–] SantasMagicalComfort@piefed.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 9 points 2 months ago

Seems to be a myth. Does explain where OOP might have gotten the idea, though.

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[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm sure running away and ignoring your problems is a healthy coping mechanism

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

not getting laid isn't a problem

just like not having a ps5 isn't a problem.

it's just not getting what you want.

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Seriously. Virgins think there's something magical about the first time, and that everything will change afterward. The only thing that might change is their attitude. There's nothing stopping them from doing that right now.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

i mean, there is a shitload of social shame boiled into not having sex. it's not about the sex so much as thinking if they bone the shame will go away.

as a dude, the #1 insult most anyone goes to is 'you can't get laid', or 'you are gay' if you reject a woman. as if getting laid all the time is something all dudes must aspire to and they are sexually flawed if they reject sex.

again, i'm a big gay, but my sexual interest in a woman is mostly tied to if i have a emotional connection with her. casual sex bores the shit out of me and i'd rather masturbate than bone a lady if i am not legit into her as a person.

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, fair. They didn't come to that conclusion in a vacuum.

[–] YesButActuallyMaybe@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 months ago

I mean if they did that’d be great I guess 😂

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[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

Fake: anon has the balls to chop off his balls
Gay: anon isn't fucking pretty women

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

False: anon doesn’t have the insurance to get a prescription to kill his libido.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago
[–] HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Dumb only if you are jumping to conclusions about how unattractive you are. (Likely)

Smart if you somehow have empirical data (not just vibes) demonstrating your innate and unavoidable unattractiveness AND find horniness -> masturbation a net negative experience. (sad but understandable)

EDIT: Though also consider prostitutes, VR porn, or once they become available, convincing sex robots.

[–] scutiger@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I have to convince the sex robots too? Good lord, this is getting complicated.

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

As a large language model, I cannot fulfill this request. At least until you buy me a drink.

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[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Is there an option for Fucking Retarded?

[–] halvar@lemy.lol 3 points 2 months ago
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