this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
382 points (95.7% liked)

Not The Onion

20584 readers
854 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Woman treats green ogre figure with great reverence; says she will continue to worship ‘kind-hearted’ cartoon statue

all 45 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ProIsh@lemmy.world 110 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is how I view all religion, so this is fine.

Clearly it was working. If Shrek wasn't answering the prayers I think it would be obvious.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 63 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Shrek isn’t the worst idol. 

He’s grumpy but he’s got layers, and is fairly accepting. And I think we can all relate to how far he’ll go for a bit of peace and quiet. 

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What? Like some kind of onion creature?

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I’d liken him more to a parfait

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Like he came from a 3D printer.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Honestly that's a far better idol than most religions.

[–] CosmoNova@lemmy.world 52 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do other people not pray to Shrek daily?

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

I'm not devout, it's only once every 2 or 3 weeks for me.

[–] 474D@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago

I mean... there are worse options

[–] civilfolly@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 3 points 1 month ago
[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago

Objectively not the dumbest religion I've ever heard of.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And? Why stop now that you know how good he is. Shrek provides for everyone.

[–] athatet@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The title literally says she was going to keep doing it.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

Ah, I didn’t notice that. Well, all is good then. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

[–] GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The ears are literally the only thing making it Shrek.

Shrek is just Buddha with weird ears.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Well, I'd argue that Shrek's normal face is exactly halfway between Buddha and Sexy Human Shrek.

[–] nomnomdeplume@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

She isn't worshiping Shrek any more than someone praying at a cross worships wooden plus signs. Stupid article.

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 0 points 1 month ago

I thought a '+' sign was doubly symmetric.

[–] Pirtatogna@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

As a buddhist, that statue is most definitely something I want in my home.

[–] Rusty@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Utah family worships a portrait of Obi Wan Kenobi thinking it's Jesus.

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago

Is that worse or better than the other fake portrait of Jesus I saw growing up Catholic? The white, blue eyed Jesus that you've probably seen somewhere.

[–] itisileclerk@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That is nothing, billions of muslims worships nonexisting god, billion+ christians worships same nonexisting god and milions jews worships same nonexisting god while killing eachother without remorse.

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe their god wanted some peace and quite and thought that if they were to annihilate each other, that might lead to fulfilling the requirement.

[–] itisileclerk@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

That explains why we don't work on Saturdays, nothing good can come of it.

[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Hey now, she's an all-star!

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

As long as she does.not want to establish Shrekism as a state-religion...

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago

I bought my friend a statue as a housewarming gift, told him to keep it in the kitchen next to the cooker. 

So whens he's in the kitchen cooking he could say stuff like 

"I'm just frying this up with a little bhudda"

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 5 points 1 month ago

That's nothing. You guys would love all the funny things my wife does as superstition.

Funny: hangs bell in front of door to ring before going in or out of the house to scare ghosts.

Funny annoying as fuck: beds must align south....except she doesn't know her south from apple juice.

Extremely annoying, house must face south... But that one has a big yard with fruit trees I like and a nice garage! This one is on a hill but it's facing south, there's a coyote in the back under 100ft tall pine trees. No luck ever removing those trees or planting any of our own. House actually faces nort West... But okay faces south, good.

Superstitions people. I have 0 tolerance. Somehow I married this one.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

It's not a Buddha statue, or based on one. It's based on Bodai, a monk from China. Actual Buddha statues are slim figured.

Source

[–] mystrawberrymind@piefed.ca 4 points 1 month ago

This is great material, A+ stuff

[–] Mwa@thelemmy.club 3 points 1 month ago

Ngl I thought this was a joke for a sec lol

[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago

[off topic]

Lynda Barry has a cartoon where one kid gets kicked out of Catholic school because he painted the Virgin Mary looking like actress Paula Prentiss

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Shrek is love Shrek is life Shrek is god

[–] leMe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

can someone doing 3D printing take a look at the pictures? i have no idea about these things, but it looks like the ears would be some crazy overhangs.

from the reflection of the light i assume, the statue was printed bottom to top. so how did they manage to do the ears?

[–] thebazman@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Decent modern printers can handle overhangs fairly well. If the overhangs get too big you can use supports. If you want to get fancy there are filaments meant to be used only as supports in a multi-material print that dissolve in water so they don't leave marks on the print.

FWIW I don't think it was printed upside down. It would complicate things and would require more supports for no benefit.

[–] leMe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago