this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
551 points (98.8% liked)

Not The Onion

19512 readers
1284 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Akh@lemmy.world 180 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

When an ancient philosopher predating the birth of Jesus is too “woke” for your institution of higher learning, I have to question the educational value of said institution.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 59 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Texas has to reduce the input of Thomas Jefferson as an Enlightenment philosopher because he was too woke as a slaveowner.

[–] hector@lemmy.today 2 points 2 weeks ago

Because he beefed with the church.

[–] crusa187@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 weeks ago

It’s Aggies, so no value there to begin with.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Beware the man with one book.

[–] hector@lemmy.today 2 points 2 weeks ago

I guess that radical leftist alexander the great will be next, he had man lovers.

[–] radio@sh.itjust.works 82 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You know you're winning in the "marketplace of ideas" when you have to literally ban the discussion, even the mere mention, of anything you oppose. Solid victory guys. Texas degrees aren't worth the paper they are printed on.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Gotta love that free speech absolutism.

[–] FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world 72 points 2 weeks ago

A diploma from Texas A&M is worth less than the paper it's printed on.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 62 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

Are we so out of touch?

No, it was Plato who was wrong.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 48 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Plato: "Everything is a shadowy echo of its perfected nature. Even gender."

Ken Paxton: "Any teacher caught mentioning that last bit is fired."

[–] Canconda@lemmy.ca 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Plato: "Man is a featherless biped"

A&M: "He's too dangerous to be left aloud"

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Round here we gotta cure fer callin anodder man feadderless, hehehe...

[–] pulsewidth@lemmy.world 46 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

"The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government is to live under the government of worse men."

– Plato, Republic book 1 (translated) circa 375 BCE.

[–] darklamer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

(translated)

Why? Don't you trust us to read Attic Greek?

[–] diablomnky666@lemmy.wtf 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I only read Cellar Greek. Attic is to high brow for me.

[–] darklamer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Unexpected, I've never heard this joke before.

Also the cellar is where I keep my Hell-enic wine. It had a devilish flavor.

[–] hector@lemmy.today 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Easy to say. Good luck changing politics, the neo liberals have a deathgrip on the left options in politics, running as the plutocracy but the other parties are worse. Making the radicalized right planning of fixing elections, now with the help of russia and the us, an inevitability as they run as reform.

Nothing will break the population from the neo liberal's death grip, not short of a populist alternative, but they kill that in the cradle. Not even 2024 shook the confidence of the sheep in the party, as arrogant as ever they are busy being led to aggressively blame everyone else for their unwinnable strategies, especially blaming those that fought for a new deal of popular reform that could both win and restore the glory of our post war year prosperities. Across the west not just in the US, the US and UK are just the harbingers of the death of liberal democracy in all but name.

Wise men can't solve this, not disparately with the forces aligned against the common good.

[–] kata1yst@sh.itjust.works 42 points 2 weeks ago

Fuckin football team with a side hustle.

[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Famous lefty radical Plato

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Gotta watch that newfangled philosophy - why don’t we just use the classics? /s

[–] devolution@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago

Wait till then find out about what the Spartans really did!

[–] Danarchy@lemmy.nz 18 points 2 weeks ago

Cave wins again

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I would like to not exist in this reality any longer, please.

[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Aka, Texas a&m is attempting to be one the right wing fascist schools approved by maga

[–] Horsey@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

I applied there in 2010 for undergrad and was offered to go there if I joined ROTC. I wrote back asking if I could not, since I objected to war and my offer was rescinded.

[–] OldQWERTYbastard@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

Texas. The One-Star State.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 10 points 2 weeks ago

Lmao, Plato is like a major philosopher for right-wingers, there's literally a propaganda channel named after it.

[–] hitstun@feddit.online 9 points 2 weeks ago

I hope college football fans start bringing signs with Plato quotes to Texas A&M games.

[–] GhostPain@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Snowflakes gonna snowflake. lol

[–] vane@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Now please ban all computers because of sexual preferences of Alan Turing.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Just like A&M graduates!

/jk

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Someone should start writing Texas “Aggie” jokes!

Cause they’s so dang stupid!

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Conservatives want to converse the stupidity they had at birth.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago
[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

When will the mandatory public book burnings begin?

[–] BreadstickNinja@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

I already despised Texas A&M for ruining the jalapeño pepper. Now we get further dumbassery.

But will they keep Shakespeare as he is literally the only person to write anything in English?

[–] frunch@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

From the article:

The regents used AI analysis software to audit syllabi for unapproved content. Thanks to this rude mech, 200 courses have been cancelled, stripped of core curricular credit value, or forced into revision.

Gotta love how AI is calling the shots in so many sectors these days. It makes for the perfect scapegoat. "Well the AI said so" is not a valid response in my mind, but those in charge clearly disagree. I've also read of situations where an AI will be 'in charge' but there will be a human on site to help out (or likely more accurately--take the fall when the AI fucks up)

[–] lechekaflan@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Another day at Y'all Qaeda Texas or Oblast of Texas.

[–] adespoton@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

So they’re banning Plato, but is Socrates still OK?

:D

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Plato has never struck me as a particularly happy person.

[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 1 points 1 week ago

I am uncomfortable with how many times I read this as Plano rather than Plato. What would a university banning a city even mean?