this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 151 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Do they know that football involves a bunch of men grabbing each other?

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 55 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If I told someone I had a video of muscular dudes in spandex pants wrestling around with each other in the mud, they'd think I never miss pride events, but tell them its the most recent superbowl and suddenly...

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 11 points 3 weeks ago

Hey, you leave the Turkish national sport outta this

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oil_wrestling

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Football can be described in so many fun ways.

Years ago when my rep was cosponsoring some bill about how video games were killing children my buddy sent him a letter. I don't remember the exact contents but it pointed out the rich history in Texas of folks wearing different colors violently defending their turf from rivals. Schools are training high schoolers to how to be in a gang as a sponsored activity every Friday evening.

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[–] kboos1@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Listen to sports commentators out of context. Sounds pretty gay to me

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

If you put black censor bars over MMA fighter shorts, it looks REALLY GAY.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 106 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (5 children)

I would say the superbowl isn't gay enough. The half-time show should be all 24 players having an orgy on the field. That'd certainly get me to watch the dumb foosball game.

[–] bufalo1973@piefed.social 31 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Hand-egg more than football.

[–] bisby@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Sports are called "foot" ball because they involve running and aren't played on horses. And "ball" doesn't mean "sphere"

I don't watch association, Australian, rugby or American football, but you've bothered the etymologist in me with your nonsense suggestion.

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[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 77 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Every time I read TPUSA. I think Toilet Paper USA. Not complaining, because that's what it is basically

[–] Ohmmy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I want to defend the toilet paper for keeping shit off your hands while TPUSA is the literal shit

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[–] brianary@lemmy.zip 49 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Conservatives don't assimilate into American society.

[–] BetaBlake@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

They're whole ethos is antisocial. They are obstinent toddlers who stomp their feet and fold their arms and think it's funny to make other people mad.

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

really have to stop calling them conservatives, they're regressives clearly

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[–] AlexLost@lemmy.world 48 points 3 weeks ago (10 children)

How gay is that?! They need to have their own party, because they aren't welcome at the regular one. Such cry babies with their safe spaces and delicate feelings.

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[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 45 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Nice work fun police, who ya gonna get? The old fart with the America song?

[–] Ludicrous0251@piefed.zip 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's gonna be the Kid Rock and Hulk Hogan "it's not gay because we said 'no homo' circle jerk spectacular" featuring George Santos.

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 24 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@sh.itjust.works 27 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

And you think magats are smart enough to remember that? They'll get a guy barely ressembling hogan and call it a day

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 30 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Look, all they want is a muscular man with facial hair in shorts telling them how he's going to dominate them, pin them to the floor and just start pounding them. Otherwise, it's too gay.

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[–] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 3 weeks ago

Kid Rock and Ted Nugent would be my guess. But I mean, you could swing a dead cat and hit like six or seven country/western singers who hate dark-skinned and/or LGBTQ+ Americans in a given honky-tonk, so they'll have no shortage of talent. And, make no mistake, some of these people are talented... but if they just use that talent to try to further divide the poor people for the benefit of the wealthy, I don't think they are worthy of my attention.

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[–] switcheroo@lemmy.world 42 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

When a bunch of conservatives get together, they crash grindr, so... Yeah.

[–] hector@lemmy.today 16 points 3 weeks ago

Every accusation of theirs is a confession. Every single one. No exceptions.

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[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 40 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I can wait to find out what loser right wing celebs they haul out to combat the wokeness. 😂

[–] CatZoomies@lemmy.world 42 points 3 weeks ago

Kid Rock instantly materialises

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[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 32 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

What a bunch of thin-skinned losers

[–] Railcar8095@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

*light-skinned losers

[–] HungryJerboa@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 weeks ago

*skin headed

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Nazis sure are some fragile people.

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[–] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

It's not gay, it's brown. Or is Bad Bunny also gay? I have no idea, and I don't care who he loves. I'm tuning in for the music and the dancing. I'm not a fan, but I'm sure it'll be a good show.

[–] homes@piefed.world 33 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Although the jury is still out as to whether Bad Bunny is gay or not, he has announced that he is going to perform the halftime show wearing a dress, in solidarity with Puerto Rico‘s rich history of drag queens.

So, yeah. That.

[–] drcobaltjedi@programming.dev 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Drag used to be a lot more common in the US.

[–] Hylactor@sopuli.xyz 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Cue vt of Trump and Giuliani dressed as women.

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[–] abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 3 weeks ago

So what's it going to be? Kid Rock singing about how Trump is God's chosen president while a group of "liberals" (ie: non conservatives) they captured off the streets get forced to pray to Jesus in the direction of Mar-a-Lago?

These fuckers remind me of the type of people who only let their kids watch "Christian" television.

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 23 points 3 weeks ago

I’ll make my own halftime show, with pedos, and mar-a-Lago face!

[–] DandomRude@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, this shows once again that the right-wing extremists need their own artificially staged reality in order to somehow justify all the outrageous lies of the MAGA leadership: they simply cannot allow people to peacefully celebrate sporting events.

It's really absurd how blind these idiots are. They just can't see that the imaginary enemy images that are being mindlessly propagated here simply serve to distract from how thoroughly degenerate the leaders of this "movement" are, from the fact that they are actually the enemies of all halfway decent people.

The stupidity is really only surpassed by the ruthlessness of the criminals responsible for this moronic deception.

[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

They're doing the "brainwashing" they accuse others of. Benny Shap's network makes right-wing movies for crying out loud.

They defend this by saying that hollywood is "left" wing ... so they must "counteract" and "balance" things.

I'm reminded of the Chris Wallace and Jon Stewart interview: https://youtu.be/UYbtUztVctI?t=417

Jon Stewart:

Here's the difference between you and I, I'm a comedian first ... my comedy is informed by an ideological background. There's no question about that, but the thing you will never understand and the thing that conservative activists will never understand is that Hollywood, yeah they're liberal, but that's not their primary motivating force. I'm not an activist. I'm a comedian and my comedy is informed by ideology, there's no question about that, but I'm not an ideologue.

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[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago

So wait, you're going to try and run a second concert in competition with the super bowl halftime show, and still associate it with the super bowl/NFL?

The lawyers are going to eat them alive for the fees.

[–] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Why don't they just play their own Superbowl too?

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[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Watching 300 lb men huddle in spandex for 4 hours not gay, but 2 halftime music acts are way too far beyond the rainbow...

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

Lee Greenwood's body is ready.

[–] tonytins@pawb.social 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 9 points 3 weeks ago

Big week for the left they've claimed both gun rights and football all in one week.

[–] jacktherippah@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

Toilet Paper USA

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

Conservative Fragility

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