this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
414 points (98.6% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] winkledinkle@sh.itjust.works 143 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Amateur mistake to not already have that ready to go.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 95 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The fool decided to talk to a girl instead of spending 180hrs+ downloading, compressing, formating, naming, indexing, installing, hosting and trouble shooting.

This is why China is ahead they got this figured out, they just got rid of the women.

[–] LittleBorat3@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (5 children)

What you described is very automatable. Not the getting rid of women the think with the nas and stuff

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[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 31 points 5 days ago (2 children)

"Damn, it's not working......want to fool around instead??"

Pro move

[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

pulls jester cap from purse
..sure..

[–] Shortstack@reddthat.com 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I put on my robe and wizard hat

[–] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 days ago

I cast Fireball!

~~No, I actually don't care how big the room is and no I don't care about my party members taking damage, should've taken a fire retardation potion instead of becoming a retard who's on fire.~~

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[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 26 points 5 days ago (7 children)

The other day I wanted to watch a movie. I had it all set up. I started streaming Jellyfin to my tv. The movie started playing at 5 frames per minute....

Turns out my pc can't handle heavy transcoding at all. It also doesn't have a gpu, so that doesn't help.

[–] LittleBorat3@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

Forget transcoding, have it in a playable format.You can run that on a toaster.

[–] brucethemoose@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Will it not play the raw movie if you are on LAN?

Also, many CPUs have hardware transcoders these days, so I’m not sure which Jellyfin supports.

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[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 10 points 5 days ago

Download all content in HEVC level 5.1 or below and it should play on everything without needing transcoding

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 9 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Doesn't need a GPU, your CPU might have a transcoder, just need to configure it in Jellyfin.

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[–] smh@slrpnk.net 83 points 5 days ago (4 children)
[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 days ago
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 5 days ago
[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 4 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Do you have (thing I want)?

Well, no

oh... it's on Netflix though...

[–] Doc_Crankenstein@slrpnk.net 13 points 4 days ago (7 children)

If it's on Netflix then there's a torrent. I'll set it to download.

Or

Then you're welcome to sign in with yours.

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[–] Limonene@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

8 years ago, I sat with my then-girlfriend at her parents' house thinking of things we wanted to watch. We thought of like 20 shows and films, and each one we looked up was not on her parents' Netflix.

Netflix's selection has only gotten worse since then.

Nothing anyone wants is on Netflix.

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[–] Rooty@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Xenia my beloved

[–] unrealMinotaur@sh.itjust.works 33 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Fake: Anon is at friends house.

Gay: Anon is at a guys house.

[–] Xenny@lemmy.world 23 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Fucking a. I have everything set up nicely through streamio to just work but every time I have somebody over the fucking real debrid service goes down and I look like a real dummy.

[–] oatscoop@midwest.social 8 points 5 days ago

Can I interest you in a NAS and an old laptop running debian plugged into a TV, with the Ethernet cable running to it duck-taped to the wall?

[–] Ibuthyr@lemmy.wtf 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It's likely the scraper. Torrentio is getting really bad. I highly recommend adding the elfhosted comet.

[–] SalmiakDragon@feddit.nu 3 points 4 days ago

elfhosted

I believe

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[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 24 points 5 days ago (3 children)

What does Norway have to do with it?

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 11 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] Redjard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 5 days ago

america anon posts

It's the country where I want to be pony trekking or camping or just watching TV.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Behold, the flag of United USA of Northern America:

[–] axx@slrpnk.net 2 points 4 days ago

Indeed. What in the geographical fuck.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 18 points 5 days ago (7 children)

https://streamingunity.tv/

There. Just saved you half an hour waiting for your download to complete.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Saved but also "half hour downloads" are a thing of the past with gigabit fiber and usenetting

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Kinda depends on what your downloading. Movies in the 2160p resolution are getting into the 10s of Gigs. And you still need a seed with comparable bandwidth serving the file you want.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

See: usenet. No seeds, just constant maximum DL speeds

[–] superglue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 5 days ago

Its been my experience at least that once a site gets too good it gets shutdown. I got tired of that dance so I just properly setup radarr and Sonarr with Usenet.

[–] Darcranium@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago
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[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I just posted about how I hate that modern humans have zero patience for me to even put a dvd in 😅 thank goodness I dont have to try to date one of these idiots

#eathotchip

[–] Cort@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Wait EA has a brain chip to turn people into thots?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] ebolapie@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

important: don't know how to cook and be born after 1992

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