this post was submitted on 13 May 2026

91 points (96.9% liked)

Not The Onion

21466 readers

1535 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

Man Found With Meth Pills Shaped Like Mario Is Going To Prison (www.gamespot.com)

submitted 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) by FTonsilStones@lemmy.ca to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

20 comments fedilink hide all child comments

A man is going away on charges that he distributed drugs "shaped like cartoon characters."

top 20 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] Watermark710@piefed.social 10 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

The MDMA pills I buy are shaped like the Transformers logo. I keep them locked up where no kids can get to them. They're in a locked safe, in a locked room.

[–] notwhoyouthink@lemmy.zip 9 points 6 hours ago

Used to roll, can confirm that MDMA and E typically come in fun shaped pills and have since at least the early 2000’s. Nothing new here, just a headline for pearl clutchers.

[–] MummifiedClient5000@feddit.dk 12 points 8 hours ago

It's a-me, Methio!

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 26 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Nintendo-s legal team strikes again...

[–] teyrnon@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 hours ago

Ha ha, there is a chance it was the copyright complaint that caused the enforcement.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 37 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Nintendo really not fucking around with their IP these days, huh?

[–] hobata@lemmy.ml 7 points 12 hours ago

Rubbish, that guy has just to look in another castle!

[–] teyrnon@sh.itjust.works 3 points 8 hours ago

He should've stuck to fly agaric.

[–] popekingjoe@lemmy.world 8 points 11 hours ago

Gotta make it fun for the kiddos.

[–] sylver_dragon@lemmy.world 6 points 12 hours ago

Oh no!

[+] someguy3@lemmy.world -6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Someone's going to get plumbed in prison.

[–] teyrnon@sh.itjust.works 9 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Prison rape is not funny.

[–] Watermark710@piefed.social -2 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Nah, rape is sincerely hilarious. Please watch this 2 minute video before reflexively downvoting me. I know a lot of folks on here hate YouTube, but it's the only place I can find this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikd0ZYQoDko

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

This shouldn't be getting downvoted

[–] Watermark710@piefed.social 1 points 1 hour ago

I get it. People couldn't take two minutes to watch a video, so they downvoted me without even knowing what I meant. I knew the risk when I made the comment.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world -1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Rape isn't hilarious at all. Jokes about it can be, but that's rare compared to how frequent they are.

Please watch this 1.32 video before downvoting me on reflex. I know a lot of folks on here hate John Oliver, but...

https://youtu.be/5VeocgFvJIg

Or do those jokes actually crack you up? Know any victims of rape in real life?

[–] Watermark710@piefed.social 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Know any victims of rape in real life?

I literally am one. A woman kidnapped me and raped me when I was 11.

You clearly didn't watch the video I linked, or you'd understand that.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world -1 points 58 minutes ago* (last edited 57 minutes ago) (1 children)

Oh no way, was she hilariously bad with strapon or just fingerblast you?

Because we are talking rape and not generalised sexual abuse. Variously different definitions most doing with entering someone else's body with part of your body when they don't want to. Also, while I would never dare to put down your experiences, men are physically more powerful than women in general, and while such trauma will affect one, it won't stop that from being true. And it doesn't stop how common prison rape is. You know, men forcing their penises into the anus of other men, by force and threat of violence? It's hilarious, right, that's what you called it? "Hilarious."

You clearly didn't watch the linked video or you'd have undersood that.

I too was a sexually assaulted at a young age. I was like 8 maybe 9 and this kid tried dry-humping me on these gym mattresses. Then when I was like 20 I've got sexually assaulted several times by men when I was driving a taxi.

I don't describe any of those as rape, though, much less "hilarious". Although one definitely was attempted rape. I felt his tiny little dick.

So you still think rape is hilarious?

[–] Watermark710@piefed.social 1 points 48 minutes ago (1 children)

Oh no way, was she hilariously bad with strapon or just fingerblast you?

Thank you for proving my point. You're literally joking about rape to a rape victim. You wouldn't do that if I was a woman. Rape is hilarious (when it happens to men).

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world -1 points 22 minutes ago* (last edited 21 minutes ago)

Yes and I find it fucking awful and definitely not hilarious. So with your reaction, you've actually proved my point. Which was that I'd have made a bad joke about it even if you told me you were gangraped as a woman. Because I knew you tried having a "gotcha", because pure a sweaty contrarian who wrote something as stupid as "rape is hilarious". And making a joke about something doesn't mean I find it hilarious. Here it's actually showing the opposite.

You're just contrarian, who's now forced to move his goalposts. So rape isn't hilarious or is it? Or only violent men-on-men rapes are funny? Have you ever been in jail/prison?

So any time a man gets raped, it's just instantly hilarious to you, even when there's no joke? Ofc that's not your actual view, but you won't be able to admit that it isnt. (If it was btw, I'd urge you to seek psychiatric care.)

Here, you'll probably get a whole night's worth of giggles, look

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prison_rape_in_the_United_States

In 2001, Human Rights Watch estimated that at least 4.3 million inmates had been raped while incarcerated in the United States.

Ahahaha hilarious, millions of people violently raped AHAHAHAHAAH. /S

Go ahead and tell me how hilarious it is.