this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/28523918

This made me laugh incredibly hard, so had to cross post it.

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[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 147 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

Y'all would have killed Jesus.

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

"Never forget in the story of Jesus, the hero was killed by the state" - Killer Mike.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 hours ago

Jesus, who came back from the dead? Like a zombie? Zombie Jesus is lord. I worship a zombie cult? I need to rethink my life.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 2 points 5 hours ago

Well he was from Palestine and had a darker complexion so most likely.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 34 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

fun fact... killing jesus was always god's plan. god set adam and eve up in the garden specifically so he could LARP as a Nice Guy™. In fact, not killing jesus would have condemned humanity to eternal suffering, and therefore would have been sin. Not that anyone had a choice, because it's all part of god's plan, right, and god's plan always comes to fruition.

If you believe in that sort of thing.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 20 points 9 hours ago (6 children)
[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 16 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

The Abrahamic god is literally a war god. It evolved from El and Yahweh, members of the pantheon of the polytheistic Canaanite religion. El is the father of all gods and Yahweh is a weather and war god. So yeah no wonder that the Abrahamic god does crazy evil shit. Like killing all first born sons.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 hours ago

You just inspired another wikipedia rabbit hole. See you in a week!

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Fortunately; if god is real he got bored with this particular video game and moved onto some thing more exciting.

[–] futatorius@lemm.ee 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Yep, we're living in God's ant farm and he's a bored toddler. And one day he'll show up with a magnifying glass and have a laugh.

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

As long as Trump sizzles out before I do, I will be a happy man.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Dude looks like he's a few hamberders away from croaking. but i've been saying that for a year or two now.

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 1 points 29 minutes ago

If life taught me anything, there is always room for dessert, and an extra hambie.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 7 points 9 hours ago

That's why I'm an atheist. I'm too optimistic.

[–] brax@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Doesn't the Bible go on and on about how the devil is the great deceiver? Seems accurate considering how many people think God was the good guy.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 1 points 8 hours ago

What do you think the word "Deceiver" means in this context?

[–] Klear@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 hours ago

He could be just really, really stupid.

[–] futatorius@lemm.ee 1 points 7 hours ago

My belief is that, if there ever was a god, he looked at the world he created and died of Christian pity.

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 11 hours ago

you say that now but when the (checks current feelings are still, oh good) flames of (checks notebook on latest revisions, hahah stupid assholes) HELL are kissing your feet while a succubus sits on your face and.... ok brb this is fuckin hot...

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 15 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)