this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2025
870 points (99.8% liked)

Greentext

7175 readers
595 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
870
Anon deals with crows (piefedimages.s3.eu-central-003.backblazeb2.com)
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 week ago (4 children)

a lot of people have trained crows to steal money for them… it’s very illegal….
probably not getting cash from restaurant tables.:.
people have also trained ferrets to steal jewelry and used them as burglars….

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's not "training crows to steal money", it's introducing crows to capitalism

[–] ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 week ago

for the crows it’s a gift-based society, not capitalism

[–] Throskie@midwest.social 4 points 1 week ago

Theyrethesamepicture.jpg

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

brb, checking local laws on "training animals to do crime"

[–] ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

this is why ferrets are illegal in California

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 4 points 1 week ago

I wanna believe that to be true and can't be bothered to look it up. So, I now know why ferrets are illegal in California!

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Bummer. What about having a Florida Man?

[–] ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago

well then he’d become a california man

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I want to train a common animal to pick locks. Any recommendations?

[–] ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

yes, get a transparent lock and picks from any large online retailer….
they’re cheap, easy, fun, and drastically increases your chances of survival in a zombie apocalypse

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Alas, possession of lock picks is the crime for my locale. Id love to get into it when i can get put of here tho

[–] ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

it’s usually only a crime if you have possession of them while committing another crime…

[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yeah but you're only supposed to do 1 crime at a time

[–] ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 6 days ago

did you know, every time you throw away a battery you’re committing a felony?

[–] Pandantic@midwest.social 2 points 1 week ago

Feed crows, do crimes.

[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Raccoons have opposable thumbs and thief masks, definitely S tier lockpicker race

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago

I think so too, but how are their teaching skills? I want to cause a multi-generational problem of raccoons robbing vending machines.

[–] ViaGetty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

A black bear in the Adirondacks (her name was Yellow-Yellow) learned and is believed to have taught her cubs how to open BearVault canisters. she was shot in 2012 but Adirondack bears continue chewing through canisters...

[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Ferret; they have little “hands” (I think)

[–] tostiman@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

For some reason i read 'cows' instead of 'crows'