this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2026
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Folks, CALM DOWN, this is still in the workshopping phase ok? First we bomb them, then we workshop WHY we bombed them, do you not understand the plan!?

Democrats, predictably, were apoplectic. “There was no imminent threat to the United States of America by the Iranians,” said Mark Warner, the top Democrat on the Senate intelligence committee, who had received classified briefings from Rubio. “There was a threat to Israel. If we equate a threat to Israel as the equivalent of an imminent threat to the United States, then we are in uncharted territory.”


Meanwhile somewhere below decks on the Titanic 11:45 PM (ship's time) on April 14, 1912

Well, if we were to equate the threat of icebergs to an imminent threat to our ship, then we would be in uncharted territory! - a well dressed crew member with an officer's hat calmly explains to a passenger.


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[–] Wammityblam@lemmy.world 75 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

Not quite. Israel told them to.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 30 points 20 hours ago (4 children)

You're both wrong.

It's because it's a distraction from Epstein. You're not talking about how trump rapes children. If we go to war, that becomes the focus. No longer putting pressure on trump over how trump rapes children. See, I have to keep typing trump rapes children, because society seems to have the memory of a goldfish, and have forgotten that trump rapes children.

Now, view every action he's done since taking office, and underatand understand that EVERYTHING is a distraction from trump raping children.

Now don't forget this time, ok?

[–] 4grams@awful.systems 1 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

None of you are wrong, this is multiple levels of stupid. The dictator wants a war so he can cancel elections, the other even more genocidal dictator wants more genocide so they cook up a plan. These morons shop it to the white supremacist running the department of WAR, and he gets a raging jesus boner at the idea. So they all sit down and ask mecha-hitler for a plan..

That’s where we are.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 22 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

It’s because it’s a distraction from Epstein. You’re not talking about how trump rapes children.

I believe we're now talking about how he murders children

[–] Brickhead92@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Does he murder the children before or after he rapes them?

It's both, isn't it

[–] e0qdk@reddthat.com 13 points 20 hours ago

I believe we're now talking about how he murders children

Unfortunately, yes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2026_Minab_school_airstrike

[–] Wammityblam@lemmy.world 6 points 18 hours ago

I get the sentiment, but war is worse than obvious pedophiles trying and failing to hide their crimes

[–] Zink@programming.dev 4 points 17 hours ago

It's also very possible that the war is a roudabout consequence of the child rape, assuming Epstein was a Mossad honeypot and Israel really really wants the US to be blowing up Iran right now.

[–] synae@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 21 hours ago

"Actually, Israelis"

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

Not really that different

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago

Israel told them to do it via the medium of an LLM