this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 156 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Dude did a reverse image search, checked out facebook and insta messaged her "Hey my buddy Anon wont shut the fuck up about how amazing you are but doesnt want to ruin the work relationship by asking you out. So please..."

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 91 points 6 months ago (5 children)
[–] sazey@lemmy.world 69 points 6 months ago (1 children)

On the internet? Are you sure?

[–] genuineparts@infosec.pub 15 points 6 months ago

Impossible, I say!

[–] activ8r@sh.itjust.works 33 points 6 months ago (1 children)

People don't just go around lying on the internet. Especially in greentext format. That would be dishonest.

[–] 7U5K3N@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 6 months ago

If you can't trust green text, can you really trust anyone or anything?

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 29 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I automatically assume everything from 4chan is total and utter horseshit, but its fun to play along because otherwise what the fuck are we even doing here?

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] anas@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago

Woah. Who would do that? Post a possibly fake and/or gay story on 4chan?

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 72 points 6 months ago

The joke is on Satan. Anon was already a soulless husk.

[–] Titou@sh.itjust.works 57 points 6 months ago

Bro fear God but is a 4chan user

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 53 points 6 months ago
[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 36 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There's no hell and no afterlife. Go fuck her, it's fine.

[–] Isoprenoid@programming.dev 15 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Don't fish in the company's pool.

[–] scarilog@lemmy.world 49 points 6 months ago

Boss makes a dollar I make a dime

That's why I fish on company time

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 14 points 6 months ago (2 children)

People have that attitude in Korea, now the average number of children per woman is 0.7

Not per person, per woman

[–] Isoprenoid@programming.dev 17 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Meeting people at work is the worst way to meet people.

"Oh hey. Our major thing in common is that we're both working for the same business.

Lets hook up so that we can be constantly reminded of work when we see each other.

On top of that: if we break up (which is highly likely) it'll get awkward at the place where we gain money to pay for necessities."

No thanks.

Edit: Also the reason why Korea has a low birth rate isn't due to "not dating at work".

https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-29666-6_9

[–] Sizzler@slrpnk.net 5 points 6 months ago

Counterpoint - sneaky sex at work.

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago
[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 29 points 6 months ago

Doesn't matter had sex

[–] stembolts@programming.dev 25 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

They sold their soul for some (potential) sex and who knows, maybe a relationship or a lifetime of companionship.

Idk, coulda done worse. Hell is probably more fun than heaven anyway.

[–] Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

In any case, this would seem to indicate that God ain't all that reliable anyway and just doing good or at least not doing harm it seems isn't enough to protect you. The reason presumably why this would be "bad" and land OP in Hell is because the coworker in this case has had their free will taken from them. This implies though that this happened to them despite their having done nothing at all that we know of to precipitate this, they just woke up a victim one day and all because unbeknownst to them, someone they worked with made an accidental satanic pact. God it seems, was apparently totally unable to protect the coworker from this.

Frankly if this can happen, by accident, to a totally innocent party in the whole affair then at that point, I wouldn't really be too worried about what God's reaction would be as they're evidently either powerless or capricious so you might as well carry on as if God and Satan really aren't involved at all and this is all just a coincidence especially because funnily enough, the situtation appears totally indistinguishable from what things would look like if they were a coincidence. You can make of that what you will.

[–] VirtualOdour@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 months ago

Yeah I kinda like the lazy God theory, sure a woman had her brain messed with by the devil but it's all free will so meh let it happen... oh they cast a hex on the moon and now everyone's Chakra is in reverse? Let's see what happenes... hm, now the devil has possessed silicon and everyone thinks the internet is real, well this guy really deserves to win his sports game so ill just focus on that for now.

Some of the gnostic beliefs kinda work with this, God is just making things weird on purpose because the harder the challenge the more rewarding the lesson.

Maybe too the woman was already fallen and God knew her redemption and salvation could come through the path where she was with that guy. The lord works in mysterious ways! Honestly the best form of apologetics because you can really go wild with it.

[–] exocrinous@startrek.website 6 points 6 months ago

The Devil invented Heaven so they could send all the annoying Christians there

[–] walter_wiggles@lemmy.nz 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Placebo confidence is the real magic

[–] Maeve@kbin.social 3 points 6 months ago

The real magic is in doing the work, on himself to do whatever needs doing to believe he's worthy, so he has the confidence to just talk to her, and see where it goes.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 14 points 6 months ago

I have a collection of witch doctor cards posted through my door. Meant to keep them in my pocket to hand out to people in crisis, but I love them too much.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

Take what you can, give nothing back

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 10 points 6 months ago

Satanist just talked to them politely and convinced them to give anon a chance.

[–] cyr0catdrag0nz@sh.itjust.works 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Reality cannot exist divorced from perception.

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 5 points 6 months ago

Perception is reality

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago
[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

T--🔥👖🔥--T