this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2024
563 points (98.0% liked)

Greentext

4430 readers
976 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 38 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Maeve@kbin.social 71 points 5 months ago

Whatever works! I'm ok with this and it made me smile, in a good way. Thanks op.

[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 71 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I was once motivated to work out by Amizon Subscribe and Save.

I had a subscription to protein shake powder, and I only let myself drink it after working out. If I skipped too many days, I’d still have some when the next shipment arrived, and I hate wasting food.

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 29 points 5 months ago

Genius consumerism at its finest

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 55 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 48 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I wish I was a fuck autist. I'm just a regular autist

[–] neo@lemy.lol 15 points 5 months ago

A fuck savant - that could be a porn movie from the 70s

[–] Jolteon@lemmy.zip 41 points 5 months ago

TBH, that's a genuinely good technique.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 35 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Favorite smash character. Really builds the salt

[–] RinseDrizzle@midwest.social 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Such a great character in smash. Awesome moves all around, and incredible bm potential. Those hopping push ups are great lmao

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago

i like running back and forth taking big pot shots at my friends who all fight each other

that and throwing balls and suns. shes so much fun

[–] ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

this whole post gave me an incredible bm.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 31 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's so surprising that Wii fit un-autism'd OP.

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 5 months ago

The Ower of friendship heals all

[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 20 points 5 months ago

These greentexts are a treasure trove of ideas. And nobody can convince me otherwise.

Maybe some call it unhinged, but some of it just has that kind of refreshing other-ness.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)

That gave me an idea.

  • VR fitness game for fat coomers
  • Basically copies other more successful titles like Beat Saber or Fruit Ninja
  • Trainer of preferred gender and art style (yes, you can weeb it up)
  • Score better than last time to unlock outfits
  • If you fall off, trainer walks away disappointed

It may be stupid, but I'm willing to bet it would work for many people.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Include like boob and dick jiggle physics and you may have winner on your hands.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Realtime full-body jiggle physics using cloth simulation on a low-poly proxy mesh with adjustable stiffness, combined with local proximity-based displacement on the high-poly model. I've done something similar in Blender and it's pretty damn simple.

[–] Land_Strider@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Is it possible to learn this power? And where? And how? Shows us the way, Anon-enjoyer.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Here and in its discord server. Their ~~cum~~ viscous fluid simulation research efforts are especially admirable.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 1 points 5 months ago

score better than last time to unlock new sex positions for the sex minigame

[–] kemsat@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

“No longer a … autist”

Also thinks the 3D lady on the screen is their friend

[–] DSTGU@sopuli.xyz 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

No longer a fat fuck autist... Just autist now

[–] Emmie@lemm.ee 1 points 5 months ago

Hey leave asd ppl alone

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 months ago
[–] Mango@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago

That means the developers succeeded.

[–] Teppichbrand@feddit.de 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

Changing you diet is much more effective than working out. Being fat is a natural response to an unnatural food environment.

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Counterpoint - when I started working out, I started feeling less hunger and ate less automatically. Shit's connected. Just start somewhere, don't think about what's the most efficient and just do it.

[–] Teppichbrand@feddit.de -2 points 5 months ago

Well, the narrative is that fat people are lazy and simply need to exercise more to lose weight. But this is not scientifically true. I'm posting this video again because it summarizes the scientific study situation in just 6 minutes.

[–] Glytch@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What a weird response to a personal success story. Are just here to get more views for the video you've posted 3 times?

[–] Teppichbrand@feddit.de 0 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Nah, I just felt like a non-verified personal anecdote that tells you the opposite of scientific facts should be corrected. I found the video while looking for a quick, credible proof and edited it in my first comment because it is exactly what I was looking for.

[–] sheogorath@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You still need to workout if you live a sedentary lifestyle. Research has shown that being sedentary has a worse effect to health compared to smoking. Also, don't forget about the mental health benefits to working out.

[–] Teppichbrand@feddit.de 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You maybe be right, but using a fucking YouTube video? Seriously, that's about as reliable as the "proof" flat earthers use...

[–] Teppichbrand@feddit.de -1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I agree again, it seems shady. But watch it, it's only 6 minutes long and packed with scientific research. :)

[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I agree, there's two really significant variables to human health:

  • food and drink

  • movement and posture

The rest is less important.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 5 months ago

Ring Fit Adventure’s endlessly positive encouragement really helped my partner and myself during COVID.

…also the daddy from bara dragon as well

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago

shes my main in smash bros. i once beat the best player in our group with her and have never let him live it down haha