this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 339 points 3 months ago (5 children)

I'm so sick of how common censoring is becoming on the internet

[–] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 77 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I guess advertisers are at fault. With most youtubers censoring themselves to avoid getting demonetized, it simply spreads to other aspects of the internet.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 34 points 3 months ago (2 children)

The youngins are going to think that’s just the way it is. Half the comments I make on YouTube are removed. It’s crazy too. Someone being a bully and saying the n word, I reply, gone immediately while the n word comment just hangs out there forever.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Maybe you should stop posting dick pics.

[–] tux7350@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Well thanks for getting my hopes up. I went into the profile looking for penis and all I got was cat pics D:<

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sorry, pussy pics. Mis-typed.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

You’re brilliant. I didn’t see it at first, but I see it now. Would you like a picture of my penis? Actually, I’m just going to send it. Check ur email.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

You wouldn’t want to see an angry seal penis anyway. Or maybe you would? You dodged a bullet. Or maybe you didn’t?

I have the most typical penis. Nothing special. I’ll describe it if you want. Just your average everyday penis. Now you’re curious. I’m sorry.

I’ll describe it.

Tip like a mushroom, shaft like a stem. Balls where the mycelium would normally be, but not buried. Just hanging out above ground. Mostly black hair, a few grays scattered in. A few inches from an asshole with a prominent hemorrhoid scar. Mostly soft, but occasionally not so soft. Has produced more offspring than is typical. Vasectomy incoming.

Hope that helps.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Hadn’t thought about that.

[–] VirtualOdour@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's so weird, I've seen people's comments removed on my videos for totally innocuous things but if you go to any big creator every comment reply is the craziest shit being spammed by obvious bots.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Yeah it makes no sense. I figured it was key words, but not that.

Any time I type words out to add accent it gets removed. Something like, “Mae an muh paw leesuned ta nuthin but cawntry win i’z growin uhp.” Always removed.

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But there are no advertisers here. Just a lazy OP who didn't want to spend 1 minute looking for the original image.

[–] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 months ago

Yes, potentially. What I'm saying is that there's a culture of censorship on Youtube, which spreads to other websites, even though they don't have the influence by advertisers. So Youtube's culture of censorship is causing a culture of self-censorship in other parts of the web.

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 46 points 3 months ago

I meant to put in the notes that the censoring wasn't mine.

[–] Rusty@lemmy.ca 35 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I feel like censorship is pushed by Chinese websites like TijTok and lemmy.ml.

[–] riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

is this satire? because censoring is everywhere over corpo media (platforms). bad words are not advertiser/family friendly.

not saying that its not pushed by tiktok and lemmy.ml, but those are by far not the first or only ones

ow and ofc, puritanism is also at fault (maybe eveb at the core of it)

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 23 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

But it could be anything! Try filling it in like a mad libs! "I send her dog pics", "she sends me pics of her computer", she tells me she would go behind her boyfriends back and fight me"

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[–] BenFranklinsDick@lemmy.world 323 points 3 months ago (3 children)

We're in a fucking 4chan greentext community. Stop censoring shit.

We signed up to get pissed on, so stop using water.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 27 points 3 months ago

username checks out

[–] 5redie8@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago

It really shouldn't make me as angry as it does lmao

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 205 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 99 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Wait, it's not just the n-word 3 times!?!?

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 71 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] sadbehr@lemmy.nz 26 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

^ An individual of real culture.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 1 points 3 months ago
[–] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

Trading n-word pics is quite self explanatory, but I'd be quite intrigued to learn what the n-word verb is xD

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago

Thank you for your service.

[–] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 77 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Does she like piña colada?

[–] hondaguy97386@sh.itjust.works 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Ummdustry@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Guardians of the Galaxy was only ten years ago mate.

(/s mostly)

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

I like getting caught in the rain.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

This is one of my favorite Youtube videos of all time, not just because of the Village People intro but also because Rupert Holmes was so coked out he tucked his sport coat into his pants.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

This is what I scrolled for!

[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 72 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Anon, she likes you so much that she's dating you twice.

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He can fuck her, and he can fuck her on the side.

[–] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 1 points 3 months ago

Yeah I want to read the followup on what happened after he set up a date from the catfish account.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If someone had a cheating with someone kink, this is how they could do it ethically.

[–] Ummdustry@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 months ago

As in like roleplay? Or is the information asymmetry still a thing in your brain?

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don't even understand what is supposed to be in the place of censored words. This is idiotic.

[–] Ashelyn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 3 months ago

Just replace every censored word with dick and it gets the point across well enough

[–] Takios@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 3 months ago

Why is he mad that your gf would share her plant pics with someone else?

[–] sevenoverthree@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If you like pina colladaaaaaas...

[–] Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Babooooooshka...

[–] match@pawb.social 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

if anon goes through with it he can get both the cheating sex and the reclaiming sex

[–] squid_slime@lemm.ee 1 points 3 months ago

To ensure his not is stronger than his nut