this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
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Memes

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[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 136 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (11 children)

I'll have the burger whose contents are stacked too high to eat comfortably and spill out when you try to bite it, please

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 47 points 3 months ago (2 children)

With a wooden stick in it half the height of the burger, if you could.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 42 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The stick is so it doesn't fall apart on the way to the table, after that it's your responsibility

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

And your choice of IPA, Hazy IPA, West Coast IPA, XPA, or lemon squeezed on ice and a dash of ginger ale.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Sure thing, is an inch-thick slice of tomato okay or did you want thicker?

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago

It comes out with a dull ass steak knife stabbed through the top

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 11 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Burgers need to be wider, not taller.

When I'm the King I will mandate this.

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[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago

at the point where your cutlery becomes necessary to eat your burger unless you pig-trough it you have failed at making a burger

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[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 121 points 3 months ago (4 children)
  • Half the staff are wearing wool beanies in dead ass middle of summer

  • Sides are a la carte, fries come in a metal cup with newspaper-style wax/parchment paper

  • The bottom bun is falls-apart-soggy by halfway through

  • Claims to have a huge selection of craft beers...all IPAs, a stout, a sour, and PBR

[–] leisesprecher@feddit.org 37 points 3 months ago

You forgot the black gloves! Those are required by law.

[–] Nfamwap@lemmy.world 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)
  • Burgers are served on a scaffold board/shovel/roof tile

  • Coleslaw is always referred to as house 'slaw.

  • Menu prices omit the $ sign/£ sign.
    Eg. Triple cooked fries 4

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 11 points 3 months ago

Menu prices omit the $ sign/£ sign.

"Gourmet bacon and cheese burger - 15"

15 what? Pence?

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 25 points 3 months ago (1 children)

run by four interchangeable lumbersexual white guys in their mid 20s who are having the time of their lives and one white chick in her late 20s who is just so over it.

[–] RadicallyBland@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 69 points 3 months ago (2 children)

There's a bar here with that aesthetic. They do serve ok burgers at slightly reasonable prices, but the secret is to become friends with the cooks. Then tell them that you don't care what the upcharge is, but you want them to make you the burger they'd want and to have fun with it.

Now I can go in and say "Tell them TexasDrunk wants whatever burger they want to send out" and 9 out of 10 times I get a burger that's delicious (and sometimes insane). Usually they just charge me the regular burger price.

I don't do it often, but I got good friends and good burgers out of it.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hell yeah! When I worked as a server, I would ask the cooks to make me a burger of the day for my lunch break. There was no "burger of the day" they just went wild and often times they required multiple "load bearing straws".

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

People who go into cooking generally enjoy getting to be creative. I love those insane creations that require load bearing anything (although I don't think I've seen straws, usually it's toothpicks, skewers, or pickle spears).

My absolute favorite wasn't the tastiest but it was definitely the coolest. The guy made a pretty standard bacon jalapeno burger, added some house made barbecue sauce, cut it into pieces, skewered it, and served it as the garnish for a pitcher of micheladas.

Note: A michelada is kind of what you'd get if a bloody Mary went to Mexico on vacation and added beer and spices.

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[–] supertrucker@lemmy.ml 58 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The best burgers are found in places that look like you have to bribe a health official to get a barely passing grade

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 31 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Not just burgers, that seems to be the best food in general

[–] superkret@feddit.org 8 points 3 months ago

Or the absolute worst. And they did bribe a health official.

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[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 40 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I went to a place like this once. Had a bison burger (?) and it was avtually fucking delicious. The fries were just "fries" but they weren't bad in any way. Above average in flavor and consistency.

I'm guessing most places like this are garbage and the one time I went, I got lucky.

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 43 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It just the generic “burger place“ design. I haven't seen a burger restaurant that doesn't look like this.

So it logically follows that all the bad ones will look like it

[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Yeah the good burger places look mostly like this too. Or they did, and everyone copied it.

A lot of em make good burgers, too. Just not $35 with fries level good

[–] ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I hate $20 prices for burgers as much as the next warm blooded American but they are usually great. It’s a burger after all. That said it’s all about that bun!

I live in northern VA and all the burger and bbq joints look like this, mostly.

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[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Most of them are mediocre. Most burger places were mediocre, and then the American gastropub trend saw burgers being made nice as opposed to diner food or bar food. They could also charge more money because they were making nicer food.

Eventually a bunch of the mediocre places shifted to try to also be nice, but mostly just increased prices, changed decor, and started using the word aioli more than mayo. Oh, and pretzel buns on burgers that got taller without being bigger and are cumbersome to eat.

In the plus side, if you like a Swiss burger with a garlic aioli, a burger with a fried egg on it, or a burger with 2 pieces of bacon, a spicy BBQ sauce, and fried onion strings and you're in the mood for some fries with bits of peel on them and a garlic Parmesan butter, then you know exactly what they're going to put in from of you and exactly what it'll taste like.

Mediocre. Not bad, but definitely not the best you've ever had.

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[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 28 points 3 months ago (1 children)

So the city I live in has a few of these and they're some of the best burgers in town, for fairly reasonable prices.

There's a fucking war on here for the best burger and I'm so happy for it. We don't fuck around with burgers.

They're so good and reasonably priced that the first time I saw this meme I was a little confused. Like yeah the aesthetic is kinda lame but that doesn't change the food. Maybe the stools aren't comfortable but like, there are regular tables. Like what's the problem??

Then I went to another city.

My friends, I am so, so, sorry. You don't deserve this. Good burgers aren't hard, they're really not. Just stay home, invest in a griddle. Even if it's just a small one for your stove top, you can make better burgers at home. Make friends with a local butcher, he won't steer you wrong. I don't know what caused that trend but I know the only way to stop it is to stop going.

[–] psivchaz@reddthat.com 11 points 3 months ago

My city has both, and they're decorated the same. I just wonder whether a really good burger place did this first and then crappy ones showed up to copy the decor and forgot to make the food good.

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 24 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Broke: We can offer you our truffle fucked nothingburger with garlic ass for $20 dollars with every single fry costing a dollar extra
Bespoke: falafel shawarma $3, yoghurt or hummus, boss?

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[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago (3 children)

And the opposite of this, if the menu is plain text and pictures of food that were taken with a digital camera from 2009 then its going to be fantastic

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[–] Ithorian@hexbear.net 21 points 3 months ago (6 children)

The only good thing is that most of those places have some sort of black bean or veggie burger.

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[–] volodya_ilich@lemm.ee 20 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Funnily enough, I'm Spanish and the meme is somehow also accurate here?

[–] psud@aussie.zone 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Australian and it's accurate here. I suspect the trend is common wherever there's a market for hipster burger places

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[–] rockkicker@kbin.run 19 points 3 months ago (2 children)

+ chef wearing black gloves

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[–] LordCrom@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Worst place I ate brought the raw burger to you next to a boiling hot slab of rock. I was expected to cook my own burger the way I liked it. Well fuck you, I'm paying you to cook my meal. Plus it just seemed disgusting to have raw meat at the table anyway

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[–] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I hate the "EAT" sign. I came here for food please don't be so demanding about it

[–] ArchRecord@lemm.ee 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You will eat here, and you will be happy about it! 😡

[–] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago

I'll need a nixie tube sign to tell me to be happy

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

And its name is always like some suburbanite place: The Yard, Patio Patties, Culdesac Restaurant & Bar

[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Either that or it sounds like they chose 2 Monopoly pieces at random

The Top Hat & Thimble

The Boot & Iron

The Wheelbarrow & Cannon

[–] DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)
[–] BobbyGasoline@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

They have one here! I just subbed to it! All we need is wewantcups.

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[–] Vespair@lemm.ee 13 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Facts. We have a burger place like this that people love for some reason, but I swear they most the mid-quality burgers for $20+. It's crazy that people keep going there, imo.

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[–] ilovededyoupiggy@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sed Porttitor isn't even that good, I dunno why they need it on their menu a half a dozen times.

[–] dwemthy@lemdro.id 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

You gotta try the Proin Ultrices

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[–] TheOubliette@lemmy.ml 12 points 3 months ago

Copy + paste small business tyrant investment. Like a ghost kitchen. They all just copy each other because it returns a consistent profit.

There is probably some kind if grotesque item in the menu as a "draw", too. The Tower of Cheese. The Bacon Bun. The [town name] challenge, a dish made of 34 kinds of flesh. Get in here, techbros! Get your grub.

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

This is absolutely not true.

Sometimes it's a very mediocre $8 taco.

[–] Dendr0@fedia.io 11 points 3 months ago

Don't forget the smugness. These types of places always have such smug staffing, like they think they shit gold or something. It's like bitch please, you're demanding someone pay a day's wage for you to fuck up ground beef. Fuck off out of here with your foofoo bullshit burger.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

Seen this meme tons of times and I never noticed the menu was lorem ipsum

[–] NineMileTower@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The beer menu is on a chalkboard all the way across the bar and you can't see it.

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