this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works 137 points 10 months ago (3 children)

qt cashier

Does this imply the existance of gtk cashiers?

[–] mamg22@sh.itjust.works 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Nowadays you're most likely to find an electron cashier than any other.

[–] RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 months ago

That's why they are so bloated and slow

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

Son, I am proud of you.

[–] rain_worl@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

see, this is why i love lemmy

[–] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 117 points 10 months ago (2 children)

A fake story about how fat people and women are evil, nice

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 66 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Why would someone lie on the internet?

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[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 30 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Who is being evil in this example exactly?

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago
[–] DarkSpectrum@lemmy.world 112 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thinks she's cute one second, calls her a bitch the next. His loneliness has nothing to do with pizza.

[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

No! It's the females' fault that men are feeling bad about themselves, didn't you know?

[–] Nimrod@lemm.ee 108 points 10 months ago (2 children)
  • Prevents OP from forgetting their backpack.

  • is a bitch

Hmmmmmmm…

[–] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Eh, the style of 4chan is to go over the top. I would not look into that to much. Now as for overall culture of 4chan...

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Blatant misogyny: used casually

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

To be fair, they're not particularly misogynistic. Jews, Aryans, gays, blacks, animals, Dems, Republicans - any group with a label is treated like trash on 4chan

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

They even treat themselves like trash much of the time. Just goes to show that 4chan is literal trash.

[–] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 9 points 10 months ago

If OP said "Bitch, I blah blah blah" then it could be argued that it's a figure of speech and not directed towards the waitress... but OP said "Fucking bitch" with no comma, so it's clearly directed at her.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 90 points 10 months ago

bro couldn't even wait to get home

[–] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 83 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

His crippling meatball addiction. She can never know he fell off the wagon. I've seen it before. You think it's a safety food, the easy pick off the menu. Then you hear something messing with the trash cans late one night, go out to check, and there's your neighbor, in their underwear, six cans deep into a Chef Boyardee overload.

[–] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 10 points 10 months ago

"I could quit meatballs anytime I want to."

[–] sazey@lemmy.world 69 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's not the second pizza that is so bad, it's the fact that anon couldn't wait to get home before scoffing the second pizza that makes him a fat ass.

[–] Gingernate@programming.dev 5 points 10 months ago

I'm in this comment and I don't like it

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 40 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Maybe it was a solidarity laugh, like "lol i've done that too"

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It might not have been particularly malicious, but your interpretation is a bit of a stretch. Besides, this never happened.

Something similar might have happened a few times, but never to original OP.

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 3 points 10 months ago

Oh for sure, it's all an elaborate work of art i know

[–] rand_alpha19@moist.catsweat.com 26 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Speaking as someone who used to travel for work (different place every day, sometimes multiple), eating in your car is super depressing and uncomfortable. Why not go home and eat it?

[–] Unforeseen@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

When I used to go onsite, for me home was an hour to an hour and half each way, and most of my coworkers had a 45 mins drive home in traffic. I suspect that's why most do it. It's your only chance for solitude.

[–] rand_alpha19@moist.catsweat.com 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

No, I mean that this person is clearly not at work and free to go wherever to eat their pizza. I know eating in a car is uncomfortable so I'm just scratching my head at why the 4chan OP would want to eat a whole pizza in there.

[–] Unforeseen@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago

Ahh yeah I see what you mean. Good point, I also find it uncomfortable, but its at the cost of letting your food cool off

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 10 months ago

When home is more depressing

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[–] match@pawb.social 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

one time after a really bad breakup i went into a pizza place (thin crust, personal sized pizzas, "artisan" but local so not expensive) and kept ordering pizza after pizza. by the third one they seemed to think i was a food critic or something, brought a glass of wine to pair with it

[–] Trae@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

Nah, they felt bad that you housed 3 pizzas by yourself and hoped some alcohol would cheer you up.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 22 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I can't even fathom being able to eat that much in one sitting.

A large pizza is like two evening's food for me. I can't even manage half of one of the big Costco ones. Two slices and I'm done.

[–] meowMix2525@lemm.ee 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Your stomach stretches out after a long enough time of eating like this and you have to eat even more to feel full. Pair that with the availability of highly caloric foods designed to make you crave them and it's a recipe for disaster.

Watch some "my 600lb life" and it starts to make sense. It's a slow boil, to be sure, but I think it can happen to anyone that isn't paying attention, who uses food and that feeling of fullness to cope with whatever negative feelings they have. I like Sean of steel (former 600lber), he gives some really good context in his react vids on youtube.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

As an above average American, I can. I have eaten an entire pizza and then gone back for seconds multiple times. You're supposed to not feel hungry after you eat, but I lack that crucial sense.

I don't do that anymore, but that's only because I remind myself that it's not normal to finish an entire large pizza in one sitting and I'm weird if I do it

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[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

"fucking bitch" describes the greentext poster (assuming this is even real) not the girl.

[–] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Holy fuck I wish could have this problem

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 32 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's never too late to start externalizing shame to protect what's left of your ego.

[–] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I just want to be able to eat food

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[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm jiggeling from laughing at this

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[–] cordlesslamp@lemmy.today 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Always get a backup pizza. Order an extra to-go with your dine-in pizza so it seems like you have a plan with the second pizza. You can never have too much pizza.

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[–] Lauchs@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

I feel like anon watched this for inspiration:

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/EXNPWNWibeoQ7Wsg/?mibextid=Le6z7H

(Sorry, best video I could find after a quick google)

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