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Rep. Lauren Boebert wants Matt Gaetz to lead special counsel investigation into Epstein files
(www.independent.co.uk)
This... This isn't The Onion?
Humans are silly.
this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2025
485 points (98.6% liked)
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Satire is dead...
I truly can't tell these days, but Gaetz looks like Butthead.
Actually, he looks more like Beavis
Maybe a bit like Mikey Day?
I've seen that one oh so many times!!! Heidi breaking character is as funny as Mike Day.
No need. We already know enough, don't we???? Hellooooo
7/16 - Rep. Lauren Boebert wants Matt Gaetz to lead special counsel investigation into Epstein files
7/18 - Matt Gaetz leads special council investigation into the Epstein files
7/19 - Matt Gaetz dies from masturbation-induced dehydration
The logic being "it takes one to know one?"
Dream team Special counsel:
Lead- Matt Gaetz
Assist
- Harvey Weinstein,
- Bill Cosby from the jello commercial
- the dusty bones of Strom Thurmond
- R. Kelly's piss
- fat Jared
So the pedophile gets to lead the investigation into pedophile activity? Sounds about right
And Handjob Barbie is involved as well, the skank that wanked off her date at the theatre with -I think- kids all around her.
Only an imbecile would trust these two scumbags.
She started dating her husband after he exposed himself to a bunch of teenagers (her included). Boebert definitely isn't against pedophilia, it turned her on.
Her son also filmed himself having sex with a minor, the film was found when they were arrested for trespassing, theft, and identify theft.
it's disgusting that she still holds office. That bitch better make sure her skull is shatter proof
https://www.newsweek.com/lauren-boebert-son-sex-tape-tyler-1874680
She’s just upset the Lolita* Express was shut down before she could visit the island.
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Well don't you want an expert to lead the investigation? - Bobert probably.
Yeah, the girl with stage V Stockholm's syndrome who was trafficked when she was underage insists!
Oh yeah, her shit bag son also caught charges for statutory rape
every comedian with a mic and a camera needs to be lighting up everyone in Washington.
I heard Matt Gaetz was asked to investigate the case with Epstein. He declined stating the children involved in the case were too old for him now.
The FBI was investigating claims that Chuck Grassley is a pedophile. their report claims that it's impossible for him to be a pedophile since anyone that comes in direct contact with him rapidly ages and turns to dust. However, the report did find that there are over 45 children missing after a "sleepover" at his estate.
Quite the crime fighting duo. A drug fueled rapist and one the most crazy skanks alive are here to solve all our problems.
If you think the problems are bad… wait until you see their solutions!
You don't need a pedophile lawyer, you need a pedophile lawyer, get what I'm sayin'?
Hey, Republicans, what happened with that "groomer" panic you guys were harping about not too long ago?
They were panicking because they were thinking other people were stealing their kids that they want to groom. It is more like turf war than anything else
Honestly I’m so confused. New factions are spinning off by the hour. It’s wild.
I legit cannot get over how fucking stupid people are. This isn't a new faction, they're gearing up to investigate and say there's nothing. Maxwell is in on it because she doesn't want to die in prison.
oh there won't be nothing, plenty of dems gonna be on that list for sure, but mysteriously only a couple token no-name (R)s
Jesus, is she still around?
These fucking roaches never go away.
MS beetlejuicer.
she kinda disappeared around the same mtg did, when TRUMP got elected. before that all we could hear is from these 2 before the election.
guess Boeberts check didn't clear.
Only the Gross Old Pedophiles could come up with shit like this.
Yeah, this timeline really is fucking bizarre.
At least it seems on brand for the GOP.
THIS is why she and the Other Republicans voted AGAINST Releasing the Epstein Files! They wanted MATT GAETZ to Release it Instead for some reason because that's PREFERABLE than Releasing it without him?
Makes sense to appoint someone who knows the subject matter so well
That's an oddly strategic move from a pancake like BoBo.
Terrible choice.
How do these people not see the irony in any of this? It's so "on-the-nose" that it may as well be the punchline to a pedophile joke.
Really it's very on-brand for Trump. He's always looking for the worst person to do every job.
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Make sure his co-chair is her ex husband too.
This is a fucking nothing burger, and you all bought it. Boebert suggested Gaetz should lead an investigation. That's it. End of story. She has very little power, he has no power, nothing will ever happen here.
No one, in or out of Congress, takes either of these two people seriously. Except of course lemmy. Lemmy thinks these are serious human beings with, uh, some kind of influence.
Boebert suggested Gaetz should lead an investigation.
That's the joke.
After appearing on the podcast, Boebert asked Gaetz directly if he would consider her suggestion.
“We deserve the truth about the Epstein Files. I'm ready for a Special Counsel to handle this,” Boebert wrote in a post on X. “@MattGaetz, how about it?”
Hmm, doesn't sound like a joke, since she doubled-down after the suggestion. And certainly not crazier than other shit she's said...
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