this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2025
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Looks like Tuco finally met his match!

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[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 96 points 4 days ago (2 children)

i didn't know you could get arrested for that, it sounds ridiculous

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 39 points 4 days ago (1 children)

A lot of states have very strict assault laws. For instance, in MA, Assault with a Dangerous Weapon can be brought against a person if they hit, throw, or spray pretty much any object or substance, including self-defense things like pepper spray.

[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 35 points 4 days ago (7 children)
[–] Chozo@fedia.io 45 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You're not thinking like a lawyer.

"Your honor, the defendant viciously and recklessly launched a dangerous substance - known to scientists as 'dihydrogen monoxide' - at my client. This chemical compound is commonly used in industrial cleaning operations and as a coolant in nuclear reactors. We seek damages up to $10,000,000,000 for pain and suffering."

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 21 points 4 days ago

It doesn't even have what plants crave your honor!!!

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 22 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Have you considered she's maybe a ground type

[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 4 points 4 days ago

Or, Arceus forbid, a Charmander. If that tail flame goes out it dies!

[–] radix@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago

People who have been sprayed with dihydrogen monoxide have a 100% rate of dying.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Think about the reaction you can get spraying people with water. They’ll cry out, close their eyes, shield their faces and run away.

I don’t know if you can call it “battery” which is often what people mistakenly expect from a definition of assault. It’s assault if you run up to someone with your fist pulled back like you’re going to punch them. It’s battery when you punch them.

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Water, where the sharks and kraken live? That water? Seems pretty dangerous to me!!!

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

Water? Eugh. Never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 6 points 4 days ago (4 children)
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[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The other comments are joking, but I bet a "serious" (legally, not realistically) that the defendant didn't know if it was safe or not. Maybe the water had some dangerous chemicals in it? We all know that the argument would be bullshit, but I would bet that's what they'd say. Or a potential alternative would be that the intent was to have her fall and get hurt, or something like that.

[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

But it was from a hose. From the account it sounds like he asked her to move, she didn't, so he sprayed her a bit.

Even in her own admission she says she thinks it was intentional, which means that it could have also been accidental.

The correct response to a neighbor spraying you with a hose is to go inside and wipe off, not file a police report.

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[–] mariusafa@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 days ago

I suspect a guy named Saul is behind that.

Im assuming he sprayed an HOA Karen who didn’t like him washing his car on the driveway. This guy is arrested for spraying water and Raja Jackson almost murders a guy and is still on the loose

[–] Jakule17@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

No way Ho-se

[–] Suburbanl3g3nd@lemmings.world 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wonder if the neighbor called his abuelita a bitch

[–] cjoll4@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Suburbanl3g3nd@lemmings.world 2 points 2 days ago

My b. Couldn't remember if those two kids called her a bitch or biznatch. Obvs the latter is significantly worse. Hence the utter beat down Tuco gave em

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 30 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Goddamn the quickie mart made apu bank

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

That was part of the premise of the episode about his bachelor eligibility and subsequent arranged marriage. It was also much more subtly visited upon in the octuplets episode.

Uh, spoiler warning for 28 year old and 26 year old Simpsons episodes, respectively.

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[–] Bell@lemmy.world 27 points 4 days ago

Wow kinda famous people have asshole neighbors too

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 30 points 4 days ago

With minor infractions, the City Attorney often defers prosecution and holds an office hearing, where the alleged offender is warned and sometimes agrees to anger management courses in exchange for dropping the charges.

Tuco taking an anger management course wasn't on my 2025 bingo

[–] barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 20 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Awesome. I guess she never got his poo pushed in. (Training day)

Edit: he seems like a nice guy. I wonder what actually happened. Arrest seems extreme.

[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I don't want to go back to Reddit so I'm just going to assume r/okbuddychicanery is going to have a field day.

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The real crime is the dumbass tmz comments.

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's been 5 hours now, the top comments have leveled off into mostly normalcy now. Humans overflowing the robots this time I guess.

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Maybe the humans hosed off the bots.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Tuco! Neighbor was lucky he didn’t get a beat down

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago


The future:

[–] rhythmisaprancer@piefed.social 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I didn't watch enough Breaking Bad to know who this person played as a character, but with the years of memes and references, this seems like something that could have happened in the show.

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 24 points 4 days ago (1 children)

heh, if it was in the show he'd be arrested for shoving the hose in the victim after disfiguring her

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 days ago

I'd say that neighbor got off lucky.

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