Not The Onion
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
i didn't know you could get arrested for that, it sounds ridiculous
A lot of states have very strict assault laws. For instance, in MA, Assault with a Dangerous Weapon can be brought against a person if they hit, throw, or spray pretty much any object or substance, including self-defense things like pepper spray.
But it's water
You're not thinking like a lawyer.
"Your honor, the defendant viciously and recklessly launched a dangerous substance - known to scientists as 'dihydrogen monoxide' - at my client. This chemical compound is commonly used in industrial cleaning operations and as a coolant in nuclear reactors. We seek damages up to $10,000,000,000 for pain and suffering."
It doesn't even have what plants crave your honor!!!
Have you considered she's maybe a ground type
Or, Arceus forbid, a Charmander. If that tail flame goes out it dies!
People who have been sprayed with dihydrogen monoxide have a 100% rate of dying.
Think about the reaction you can get spraying people with water. They’ll cry out, close their eyes, shield their faces and run away.
I don’t know if you can call it “battery” which is often what people mistakenly expect from a definition of assault. It’s assault if you run up to someone with your fist pulled back like you’re going to punch them. It’s battery when you punch them.
Water, where the sharks and kraken live? That water? Seems pretty dangerous to me!!!
Water? Eugh. Never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.
Deadly water!
Can't be too careful with that dihydrogen monoxide, 100% of people that drink it eventually die
The more that someone drinks it, the higher their likelihood of dying.
The other comments are joking, but I bet a "serious" (legally, not realistically) that the defendant didn't know if it was safe or not. Maybe the water had some dangerous chemicals in it? We all know that the argument would be bullshit, but I would bet that's what they'd say. Or a potential alternative would be that the intent was to have her fall and get hurt, or something like that.
But it was from a hose. From the account it sounds like he asked her to move, she didn't, so he sprayed her a bit.
Even in her own admission she says she thinks it was intentional, which means that it could have also been accidental.
The correct response to a neighbor spraying you with a hose is to go inside and wipe off, not file a police report.
I suspect a guy named Saul is behind that.
Im assuming he sprayed an HOA Karen who didn’t like him washing his car on the driveway. This guy is arrested for spraying water and Raja Jackson almost murders a guy and is still on the loose
Wonder if the neighbor called his abuelita a bitch
*biznatch
My b. Couldn't remember if those two kids called her a bitch or biznatch. Obvs the latter is significantly worse. Hence the utter beat down Tuco gave em
No way Ho-se
Goddamn the quickie mart made apu bank
That was part of the premise of the episode about his bachelor eligibility and subsequent arranged marriage. It was also much more subtly visited upon in the octuplets episode.
Uh, spoiler warning for 28 year old and 26 year old Simpsons episodes, respectively.
Wow kinda famous people have asshole neighbors too
With minor infractions, the City Attorney often defers prosecution and holds an office hearing, where the alleged offender is warned and sometimes agrees to anger management courses in exchange for dropping the charges.
Tuco taking an anger management course wasn't on my 2025 bingo
Awesome. I guess she never got his poo pushed in. (Training day)
Edit: he seems like a nice guy. I wonder what actually happened. Arrest seems extreme.
I don't want to go back to Reddit so I'm just going to assume r/okbuddychicanery is going to have a field day.
Yup.
The real crime is the dumbass tmz comments.
It's been 5 hours now, the top comments have leveled off into mostly normalcy now. Humans overflowing the robots this time I guess.
Tuco! Neighbor was lucky he didn’t get a beat down
The future:
I didn't watch enough Breaking Bad to know who this person played as a character, but with the years of memes and references, this seems like something that could have happened in the show.
heh, if it was in the show he'd be arrested for shoving the hose in the victim after disfiguring her
😬
I'd say that neighbor got off lucky.