I can enjoy hiking and jacking off, sounds like a skill issue
this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2025
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
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I mean yeah I guess you could
Just don't do it while near steep cliffs, it can make them very slippery
Idk what sort of volume you're pushing out to coat a whole cliffside in cum but you could absolutely be getting paid for that
The feel-good (and still very fake and gay) greentexts were always the worst, and largely because of these cringe messages. Implying becoming Christian was the first step. I wouldn't be surprised if these types of posts are just grassroots conversion attempts from various evangelists.
Lol pastor got caught browsing b/ after dark. Had to come up with something quick.
I relate to the meme honestly. But my first step was LSD.
Average MK-Ultra victim
The lsd only showed you what you brought with you.
I refuse to believe anybody actually reads the Bible. It's not really laid out in such a way as to be readable, it's just a bunch of events that ostensibly happened that you're supposed to gleam some sort of lesson from. It's really boring actually.
It doesn't really form a compelling narrative.
I’m not a Christian, but I think you’re misunderstanding how “holy” texts are supposed to work. They aren’t designed to be a riveting story, or even to make any sense in order. They’ve been translated so many times that they are a labyrinth of words compared to whatever the original intent was. The only way they function now is like sifting through word salad to find the occasional insightful line that resonates with you.
That isn’t necessarily bad—it can actually make the kernels of wisdom more impactful when you’ve been using your interpretive brain to get through the rest of it—but the problem lies in people finding meaning or justification in the horrible bits.
I actually think Jewish scholars have the right idea in a way: they treat the Torah as a story, a mathematical puzzle, and a secret code all at the same time. The wisdom is in the interpretation, not the literalness of it. People are supposed to question it because there is no predefined truth to swallow from it.
The New Testament is basically just a collection of witness accounts and letters. Papyrus was expensive so some things do have to be kept short and sweet.
Although they generally have only been translated once. Modern Bible translations go directly from the original greek.
Though not first hand witness accounts.
It also jumps around a bunch, with several people telling, supposedly, the same story but it happens differently each time.
That’s how a lot of eye witness accounts go, and the writers of the Bible aren’t even eye witnesses. It’s no wonder that everybody has a totally different version of events.
Great point. The idea that a relatively normal person would completely turn their life around just because they read the New Testament is fairly absurd, especially if their issue is depression and not something that's talked about more directly in the text like how you're supposed to be compassionate and forgiving instead of hateful. Maybe if you're already very religious, your old church is always preaching against compassion and forgiveness and you're the bookish type.
Depends why you're depressed. The book of romans is pretty reassuring
Anon gives themselves purpose, somehow still mentions that they don't masturbate.
Twice!
You can't trust dudes who say they don't jerk off, either they're lying or dangerously crazy.
It's right there in Maslow's Hierarchy of human needs at the top of the list. It may be an aging theory, but it is admissible in many courts. A lack of sexual expression is unhealthy and harmful for all humans. The person is literally saying they are doubling down on dogma and tribalism; two of the most dangerous and toxic traits of the most animalistic and deranged humans.
So yeah, someone saying this kind of nonsense is scarcely better than someone talking about how jihad gets them close to god.
From an ace perspective, the statement that sexual expression is a human need is bizarre. I don't really know how horny regular people are, but this makes it seem like an obsession. It's like if I said bird watching is a human need; you'd immediately assume I spend like six hours a day bird watching to think it was biologically necessary.
Even ace people masturbate sexual expression is 100% a human need. Because it's an animal need. It's literally the foundational need that fundamentally drives animals after their survival needs are met.
Anything from a few times a week to only a few times a month is entirely normal amounts. Hell even once a day during the height of your late teens to early 20s is entirely normal.
The people who are doing it 4, 5, 6 times a day. Doing it in public bathrooms cause they can't wait to get home. THATS the level you literally have to get to for it to be a problem.
Hell people go though cycles even. Some people can just be insanely horny and go at it two or three times as often as they normally do. Or be less horny and not even notice they haven't masturbated once in weeks.
So as an ace person your libido might be incredibly low and or you could be lacking the desire to reproduce entirely.
That doesn't mean you don't get horny at /some point/. Your view of what's normal is just incredibly skewed because the internet does a terrible job of presenting what normal and health sexual needs are.
And the only time it really gets talked about is when people like in the screen text crop up. Absolute f****** insane people who have such an insanely unhealthy relationship with sexual needs. It'd be like if you're understanding of how much morphine you need only comes from morphine addicts.
A little bit here and there when required and healthy amounts is fine for you. Sexual expression is the same way. Do it as often as your body naturally demands of you. If that's twice a year then so be it if it's once a day so be it. Literally any range is healthy so long as it doesn't drive you to do it against your own best interest.
Well that's why it's called the hierarchy of needs. Not every need has to be met equally, and you have to meet all earlier needs before you can meet later needs.
E.g. if you're currently starving to death then you probably aren't that much bothered about achieving self-actualization, but if you have all your base needs met you're not going to just sit around you're going to find something to do, you're going to be compelled to find something to do.
But if you think about it sex is a pretty important need because if people weren't driven to it there wouldn't be anyone to ask the question. Any species that's not that much bothered about sex died out millennia ago, or become a panda.
That sounds like you may have a skewed perspective of what a human need constitutes; I wouldn't expect that you spend 6 hours on the act of eating.
I thought the top of the list was self actualisation, but I think you have sense on your side there.
I'd say it's usually both.
I wouldn't. IMO there's 2 options: they're lying, or they're lying and they're dangerously crazy
Translation: furious and compulsive masturbation.
I'm so full of purpose I don't even notice the need to masturbate which gnaws at my consciousness every moment, which always sings its endless siren's song of sin, I go the entire day without paying a single thought to my aching cock which throbs urgently for release by any means. It's so great bros
Yeah dude you have to actually live life. The Christianity and not masturbating arent necessary to do that though
Sounds like they just stopped dopamine saturating themselves. If you're constantly seeking dopamine-producing activities, your receptors straight up stop being able to uptake more dopamine, and I've heard that dopamine overproduction can wear out your pituitary gland so that it stops producing enough (this is mostly noted in drug abusers). So there's a school of thought that engaging in less dopamine-inducing activities helps you have a healthier baseline where your brain experiences more enjoyment out of regular activities.
I have only ever encountered these talking points in passing so i have no clue if it's true.
It's overly simplistic. It does help, but it's more about changing habits and developing new ones.
True but fasting generally is a system reset. Sugar is essentially in everything and Americans over indulge it, so imagine going your whole life with a way higher tolerance to dopamine due to your diet.
Just like Calvin’s dad said: Being miserable builds character
Nice try pastor
If you're a Christian and meditate 15 minutes every day, you're doing it wrong!
Unsupervised meditation will put your soul at risk of the devil's temptations!
Instead, rely on the good old cathomaxxing method: 666
- 6 hours of mass and prayers
- 6 hours of work in silence
- 6 hours of ~~masturbation~~ mixed work and prayers
All for only $666.66 in a 6 hour online course.
And that still leaves 6 hours to, er, "spend with the kids".
... wha?
I jork it fairly often and I find nature beautiful, love a good hike, eat a healthy diet, and am working at developing my skills at the hobbies I pursue.
... whaaaa?
Could have done all that without religious propaganda. Though I'll admit that secular organisations rarely have the knack for creating the kind of organisation that churches have that makes it so much easier for them to actually reach people and keep them engaged, especially without a clear (to the members), concrete worldly purpose. Hard to catch up on ~1000-1500 years of Christianization I guess ...
Though I'll admit that secular organisations rarely have the knack for creating the kind of organisation that churches have
That's because secular organizations generally aren't looking to make giant cults that they can coax 10% of their income from
The churches in my country are fairly humble compared to that ...
It's certainly doesn't help that AA has a religious component. I think that turns a lot of people off of it.
Also seems to indoctrinate a lot of people if they aren't turned off from the get-go. IMO it's predatory.
Anon is based
