this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2025
870 points (98.8% liked)

Not The Onion

18926 readers
1465 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Deadeyegai@lemmy.world 148 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Man... Seriously! Fuck this guy. I hope when the Epstein files finally get released he fucking burns

[–] salacious_coaster@infosec.pub 120 points 1 month ago (2 children)

He led an insurrection on live TV, got away with it, and got reelected. Nothing is going to happen until the propaganda machine is torn down; or, more likely, the whole system just caves in on itself under the weight of its own greed and mismanagement.

[–] becausechemistry@lemy.lol 33 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I’d say the evangelical base won’t appreciate sex with teens but… given their track record they’ll probably say well actually sex with teens is just a-ok with us now

[–] salacious_coaster@infosec.pub 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Christians are decrying Jesus Christ as "too woke" now. All bets are off

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 8 points 1 month ago (24 children)

At that point you can't even call yourself a Christian

load more comments (24 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] gramie@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'd have said the Evangelical base wouldn't appreciate him having sex with porn stars either, but here we are

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] radix@lemmy.world 101 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I hope the next President makes two changes to the WH:

  1. Restore the previous incarnation of the East Wing, but with a plaque listing all the people and companies that supposedly paid for it, labeled "In remembrance of these individuals that bribed the President."

  2. Leave the paved-over Rose Garden, and rename it to the Donald J. Trump Memorial Concrete Slab.

[–] Steve@communick.news 106 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

I'm with you on 1.
But can't on 2.
Everything he did to the White House needs to be reversed.
Then also to the rest of the country.

[–] Carighan@piefed.world 58 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Plus eradicate his name from everything. Remove "Trump" from any building his family owns. Redact his names from donations and fundraisers, anonymize them. Basically remove him from history. Undo anything he did and make sure people cannot even know something was undone.

[–] foodandart@lemmy.zip 43 points 1 month ago

I want people to remember he was in the Epstein files.. so leave that aspect of his legacy intact.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

leave his name on the public toilet that his grave will become at least

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The US could pay off the national debt by charging admission to use that toilet!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] regedit@lemmy.zip 9 points 4 weeks ago

Make his name synonymous with evil, just like Hitler. Make it so toxic no one names their kid Donald for a generation.

[–] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I'd keep “trump” (lower case, without any reference to where it came from) as a certain general use word, though.

By the way, I'm writing this in the toilet, while dropping a massive stinking trump.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (4 children)

we could probably lift the slab and put it someplace. like his library, maybe. Or one of his golf courses.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Followed by actually radically and fundamentally overhauling your entire nation so that it's better than it was before Trump?

[–] Steve@communick.news 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Rename the ballroom to the Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Ballroom.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 month ago

You forget another huge thing.

Rip out all the tacky gold fittings that Trump has added all over.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 88 points 1 month ago (13 children)

Great, let's tear down a well-preserved historic building in pristine condition for no absolute reason at all!

[–] KnowledgeableNip@sh.itjust.works 45 points 4 weeks ago

But God help you if you want to remove a statue honoring a Confederate general

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Typical urban real estate mogul behavior.

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 14 points 4 weeks ago

old growth forest: *exists*

property developer: we got some undeveloped land here! let's pave it up, might make money having a parking lot.

[–] InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Might as well go back to the 1812 method of renovating at this point.
Probably less insulting to the concept of the USA than whatever the fuck this is.

[–] axexrx@lemmy.world 15 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the next president should tear down and start from scratch. Eho nlknows what kind of bugs that traitor has let his foreign 'pals' put wherever.

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 10 points 4 weeks ago

I didn't think about that. Given how lax their opsec is that is a very possibility.

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 72 points 4 weeks ago

He also doesn’t have to murder Venezuelan fishers, shoot/kidnap/torture Americans and our guests, rob the poor and deprive them of medical care and food to pay his wealthy loyalists, or rape children.

He does it because he wants to.

[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 53 points 1 month ago (4 children)

So, quick question: what exactly does he need a ballroom for? It's not like he's any good at dancing, even though he is somewhat famous for his double-handed cock milker move. Exhibit A

What's more, he doesn't have any balls, either. Certainly not the kind that would require a dedicated room. Exhibit B

I really don't get these brain farts of his. But hey, I'm not the one with syphilis-induced dementia here.

God, I can't wait until you guys finally muster the courage to oust this wannabe dictator and his clique.

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 33 points 1 month ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

His entire life has been based around his perception of what people above him think of him. That's why he plastered the oval office with garish gold leaf everywhere. He thinks it will impress people like putin and erdoğan and kim . Even more so,he's showing that he has the power to spend the people's money lavishly on stuff the country doesn't want nor need, because that's what dictators do.

That's what this is for

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

You missed another thing he loves doing. He smashed an historical building in the early '70s in NYC during the starting of his "real estate" career. He smashed an historical building while other people were offering to pay to have the historical artifacts properly recovered. His excuse at the time? "It would have been too expensive." Meanwhile he knew it would have been free to him, it just would have taken 6-8 months later for him to break ground.

He's continued desecrating any historical site he can get his hands on, to this day.

He gets off on destroying historical monuments.

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 8 points 1 month ago

...because he can. And nobody will stop him.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Rothe@piefed.social 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Because it is not so much a ball room as it is a throne room. He wants a giant hall where he can preside at a throne in the end, where people who wants to see him has to walk through the entire thing feeling humbled, just like his dictator pals does it.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ThePrimitive@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Because the Kremlin has one.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] chunes@lemmy.world 37 points 1 month ago

This applies to everything he has ever done

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 29 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

He wanted to make distracting headlines, and he got them.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 20 points 4 weeks ago (21 children)

"Distracting headlines" as a canard gets a bit old. Everything is a distraction from everything else, because we have a heavily monopolized mass media and a shrinking pool of investigative journalists with any kind of budget.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decline_of_newspapers#United_States

When you had twice as many newspapers and half as many people, the idea of "distracting headlines" was more a matter of consumer choice (you could read serious news at the New York Times or junk pop-media at the New York Post). Now media functions as a cartel, with papers all echoing one another on topics of the day. Or deliberately remaining silent on embarrassments the business community owners would rather not talk about.

This isn't a "Trump" problem, though. Its a problem of consolidation and privatization on a national scale.

load more comments (21 replies)
[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 8 points 4 weeks ago

Cracked has an article that points how Trump does know some things to a very high level. One of those things is how media attention works and also a complete and absolute lack of shame.

Him admitting that he tore down part of the white house because he just didn't like it and could have built around it is exactly those two things. He wanted to distract people and he legit does not give a damn.

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 29 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

heres the secret reason in my theory: the east wing is where Trump gave a bj to Bill Clinton. ok who has the guest logs on when they were both present?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] M137@lemmy.world 16 points 4 weeks ago

I thought this was obvious from the start.

[–] melonhusk@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago

ah, the 'just because i feel like it' defense. truly inspiring architecture, really. imagine the white house tour: 'and over here, we have the ballroom, built purely on a whim. truly a testament to... something.'

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The right and Trump's own base really didn't like him doing this. This will do as much if not more harm to him from his own side than the goddamn Epstein files.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] DarkSideOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Rumors says they are working into a shelter under it. I am not sure if true or not

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

From now on, I'll refer to it as the white wing, I hope the name sticks

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BigMacHole@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 month ago

~~Obama's going to DESTROY the White House~~ Trump is doing What NEEDS to be Done with the Old House!

load more comments
view more: next ›