this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
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[–] finalarbiter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 89 points 5 days ago (6 children)

Anderson said he had weapons in his bag, and inside the bag was a barbecue fork and a pizza cutter, according to the criminal complaint.

I need to know what the pizza cutter was for

[–] lemmylommy@lemmy.world 50 points 5 days ago

Gotta have a celebratory pizza after the heist.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 5 days ago (2 children)

It's probably just because he's Italian 

[–] kn33@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

The person worked at a pizza shop so multiple possible explanations

[–] lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I'm sure by "pizza cutter" they mean a mezzaluna, so yes

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

That's basically what Pizza Hut uses rather than the wheel blades. Just a massive rocker knife.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

I've never thought of using those for cutting pie, but I can see that it ought to work fairly well.

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

No. You dont want to know. The evils that men do with pizza cutters.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

the horrors must be mostly imaginary because my pizza cutter can barely cut pizza, what is the bluntness the point.

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 3 points 5 days ago

The horrors are beyond imaginary.

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

After breakout snack

[–] missingno@fedia.io 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It's how you cut through the prison bars, obviously.

[–] finalarbiter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 5 days ago

I was kind of imagining him trying to cut the link between handcuffs with it. Definitely the right tool for the job!

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

The fact that Anderson said it was a weapon is even more hilarious, like he's some dollar store ninja ready to kill people with a pizza cutter, lmfao.

[–] 58008@lemmy.world 37 points 5 days ago

That pizza cutter feels almost racist in this context 😆 If Luigi was named Paddy Murphy, would he have brought a potato masher instead?

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 17 points 5 days ago

inside the bag was a barbecue fork and a pizza cutter

Please tell me his middle name was Mario

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)

When Bureau of Prisons personnel asked to see Anderson's credentials, federal prosecutors said he showed them a Minnesota driver's license and "threw at the BOP officers numerous documents."

What does that even mean?

[–] Redacted@lemmy.zip 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like he tried to flood then with so much paperwork that theyd just believe him. I dont think they mean literally threw papers but im just going of vibes here.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'm imagining fine print from credit card offers, etc. I mean, I guess it could work, on any given day, with the right (or wrong, depending on perspective) desk Sarge, but with a high profile prisoner? Come on...

Alternately, I suppose they could have been a bit more creative and printed off some official forms and attempted to fill them out, but still...

Fortune does not always favor the bold, apparently.

[–] MIDItheKID@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (5 children)

I feel would imagine that prison is not letting anybody out without an in-person visit from somebody very high up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metropolitan_Detention_Center,_Brooklyn

Check out the "Notable Inmates"

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 1 points 5 days ago

Oh man, I saw loads of videos of this guy on 4chan

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GypsyCrusader

Didn't know he's in prison

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 1 points 5 days ago

What even is racketeering? Sounds like something they made up when they can't charge you with anything real.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 1 points 5 days ago
[–] 0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

"Hey, it's a me, Mario. I'm a here to save you."

[–] muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Let’s assume this would’ve worked and he was broken out of prison. What next? Where the fuck would they go?

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Nearest corporate board meeting

[–] muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 days ago

Then a dennys. Fuck McDonald’s.

[–] Rozauhtuno@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 4 days ago

Mushroom Kingdom.

[–] logi@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

Rookie mistake. Just put on random camo and a face mask, demand to have him for deportation, and shoot anyone who asks for id.

[–] Bot@sub.community 1 points 3 days ago

I wanna let him to impregnate me to have his seed going

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I thought he's already cleared of all charges

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago

Innocent of them, certainly. It's widely known. All the best people are saying it.

[–] sober_monk@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Mark Anderson

Mr. Anderson

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 10 points 5 days ago

Bold Move! Buy the man a drink; put it on my tab.

[–] sommerset@thelemmy.club 6 points 5 days ago

Hey. Call your squeamish dem leaders and demand a pardon.