Duh, and/or hello.

Jordan Peterson enters the chat

Open kimono?

It's almost like the ability to confidently blather insane buzz words has no connection to the ability to do any work whatsoever.

The purpose of a system is what it does.

If an organization rewards empty bluster and ChatGPT-driven corporate drivel, then that it is because those things are the organization's purpose.

Corporate lingo is a social filter for humanoid shitweasels to identify their peers and control eventual threats.
Nothing is more menacing to an incompetent manager than an underling speaking the truth. Thankfully corporate lingo allows underlings to be dismissed out of hand because either:

• they didn't use the correct lingo ("Steve fired the only guy who knew how that machine worked and ain't nobody got time to figure it out because every other machine is falling apart as we speak" -> you get muted on teams and a meeting is booked with HR)
• they did use the the correct lingo which is - entirely by design! - devoid of negative turns of phrase ("our rightsizing efforts mean that other team members will have to step up and synergize" -> sounds fine, deal with it, next topic).

Golden.

Essentially, the employees most excited and inspired by “visionary” corporate jargon may be the least equipped to make effective, practical business decisions for their companies.

“This creates a concerning cycle,” Littrell said. “Employees who are more likely to fall for corporate bullshit may help elevate the types of dysfunctional leaders who are more likely to use it, creating a sort of negative feedback loop. Rather than a ‘rising tide lifting all boats,’ a higher level of corporate BS in an organization acts more like a clogged toilet of inefficiency.”

Corpospeak serves an important purpose though. It's how they identify the correct people to fail upwards.

Makes sense to me... bullshitters LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE lingo... the people that really know their stuff are able to ELI6 most complex issues

The results of this study will undoubtedly produce a sea change in corporate culture while simultaneously creating opportunities for cross functional collaboration resulting from this paradigm shift. /s

I’m sorry, but “synergizing” and “paradigm”, aren’t these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I’m accusing them of anything like that—

I’m fired, aren’t I?

One of my last jobs I started entry-level clerical work but I noticed everyone in the office was talking like this, so I started in on it, I would take advantage of meetings and group projects to just spout utter bullshit like "We really have to circle our wagons and take some of this conversation offline so we can maximize the returns from our diversity" and holy shit did it have an impact. I was promoted before my first year was up, I was invited to more and more meetings, I was treated like a manager before I was even given the role. I was eventually laid off when the company was bought out by private equity but not before climbing to higher management.

To analyse the impact of this study I recommend that we set up an interdepartmental committee with fairly broad terms of reference so that at the end of the day we'll be in the position to think through the various implications and arrive at a decision based on long-term considerations rather than rush prematurely into precipitate and possibly ill-conceived action which might well have unforeseen repercussions.

Corporate shitspeak: the traditional fallback for the utterly useless.

I only know what synergy means from Balatro

Yeah no shit the guy who wants my team to do his job by making it sound like effective teamwork is shit. But when I call it out HR says I'm not being a team player (which is funny cause me and my team pick up a lot of slack without ever getting help in return even when it costs them effectively nothing.)

In all my years, I've never see the goat of any particular job or specialty give a damn how someone else is helping them. But if they aren't completely selfish they might choose the harder method to accomplish their tasks if it means less work for their teammates, rather than insisting others do more work to make it easier for themselves.

This is hilarious.

This is very good news actually.