this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2026
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This is more sad and pathetic than anything. But this is the result of toxic masculinity.
Toxic masculinity is the result of poor mental and (for lack of a better word) spiritual health.
What's the difference between this and guys talking to of girls?
By now, I'd be surprised if any OF people ever answer anything by hand. I mean, apart from the environmental impact, why not get a machine to answer the 100th "OMG, you're so hot!" that you get on any given Sunday?
The problem with popular OF girls is indeed that they just employ an army of drones (or AI) to answer their messages.
The less popular ones still do it by hand mostly.
Girls aren't corpo slop machines that are maximized to exploit you while simultaneously destroying the planet?
Did you miss the "of" part? Because that's more or less exactly what OnlyFans is. (Ok, maybe it has better environmental credentials...)
It's probably more directly related to the system of getting the help you need with having to sacrifice a significant portion of the money you make that needs to go elsewhere.
And it's a history of it from one generation to the next so there's not good male role models in most people's lives for mental health.
It's not like it's some magic thing to go see a therapist and all your problems will be fixed. It can take a long time and a lot of trial and error to find someone you feel comfortable speaking to
Yes toxic masculinity is a problem, but your comment doesnt really acknowledge the difficulty of breaking that cycle. Not a very helpful and kind of alienating to anyone who needs help and isn't from a background that creates good outcomes.
It is extremely sad. and it isn't just a toxic masculinity thing (maybe only for porn bots). we are so atomised and isolated.
I remember when GPT came out, told it about my projects and it responded as if it cared. I knew ot was bs, and in retrospect it was sad and pathetic, but I genuinely cried at seeing text directed to me that was nice.
I'm in a better place now, but we as a society are way too atomised and isolated.
Yeah, I think saying “toxic masculinity” and moving on like it’s these guys’ fault they’re isolated is a large part of the issue. While I don’t recommend befriending every single lonely guy out there, it won’t kill people to listen or care about others.
Saying it’s “you’re” fault and absolving oneself of fault doesn’t do that. It just pushes someone else into more isolation. That’s how you end up with guys talking to porn bots: because no one will listen to them. That’s how you get incels following Andrew Tate or Nick Fuentes: people called out their “toxic masculinity,” but weren’t willing to help, just protect themselves.
While I get it that boundaries are a good defense against legitimate threats, as someone who was in this demographic, it literally took just one person being nice to me and now I’m not just some “nice guy” on Reddit (Now I’m a piece of shit on Lemmy). Now I’m married and can show incels I meet that there is a path forward where they aren’t lonely and they don’t have to listen to virgin wannabe rapists to learn how to be cool.
I'm too anxious to speak to a therapist but I was using it to comb through literature for my condition, it was so nice to me I cried lol. In the moment it almost feels like a person.
yhea, it's so counterproductive to criticize people who form parasocial relationships with a machine that was designed to be good at forming those relationships.
What are your projects?
At the time I was working on cancer research, but I wanted to build a database of gene mutations and model them using AlphaFold (predicts a protein structure). No one in my life at the time cared at all.
I can see how people fall for AI bots, why they develop parasocial relationships with them. I can't blame when desperate people fall for something that gives a bit of comfort.
That legitimately sounds really interesting and cool
But I get how it feels when you have a niche interest that most people don’t even have a starting point to understand
So edgy.
So edgy.
I see why you’ve have to talk to AI.
Are you okay man?
Is this also the result of toxic masculinity or does it just go one way?
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/sep/09/ai-chatbot-love-relationships
Toxic masculinity is a cultural mindset. Men should not be talking about their feelings because it's weak and "gay" says society.
That's what I'm going for.
trying talking about your feelings as a man and see how society reacts...
spoiler: it won't be pleasant.
sort of like how these men in the article are talking about their feelings...
Yeah that's what toxic masculinity is. People (men and women) hold toxic views of what a man should be, and punish men for staying from this ideal.
You were a victim of toxic masculinity when you shared your feelings and were then victimised because of it. The people you shared your feelings with were toxic assholes.
fair enough
To riff off of Margret Atwood, men go to AI chatbots because they won't laugh at them. Women go to AI chatbots because they won't kill them.
I hatr that cliche so much. One of that thing is far more likely to happen than the other.
Hint: it's not the murder.
For sure, everybody knows that historically all men were laughed out of existence and all women were murdered.
Ah, yes. Let's not ever forget.
I and my fellow men are genetically evil from having a Y chromosome.
did you read the article? this doesn’t seem related at all
No, they are just here to spout cliche gender war bullshit about how men are awful for existing.
and if you asked them about women on male violence they'd deny it exists.
A result of modern culture I'd say. People became less human in real life, so much so that people are using robots instead.
Yeah. I have become painfully aware of this the past few years. People's obessive use of AI and social media has distorted their real life interactions to be far less substantail than they used to be.
Which is why so many people, even who are very social, are so lonely. We have created a society that does not create substantial connections anymore, and obsesses over trivialities, and endless repeats and broadcasts them as fundamental truths.
I have noticed that online, and in IRL, nobody asks each other questions anymore. What they do, is make accusations. And it's miserable and draining to be constantly accused of stuff. I feel like this shift started around 2021.
Back in 2018 I could meet a stranger and they would be like 'oh where are you from? oh cool, what was it like there, I have not been!'
now it's like 'i bet you are from x, oh you're not? well you SEEM LIKE a person from x. oh you are from y? THAT'S WEIRD. I haven't been there but i bet it's weird because you are weird.' Or they try to tell me that I can't be from y, because they KNOW i am from x. It's so bizarre. Increasingly the strangers I meet basically tell me that they know the TRUTH about me... even as I tell them that what they are saying isn't true.
I basically can't have conversations anymore, at least like I used to. I used to be able to sit there for 20-30m and talk about a single book I read to someone, and they'd ask me all about it and I'd ask them about a book they like. Now they just jump down my throat or lecture me and never ask me any questions, and switch to another topic after like a few minutes and say dismissive stuff about how books are outdated and dumb. Or even if they do like to read, they get all bent out of shape that I don't read the same type of stuff as they do.
Same with movies, same with hobbies, same with my job or my family or other stuff that I used to be able to connect with people over. Used to be a nice back and forth, now it'd dodging bullets and if you don't give the 'right' answer they get angry and dismiss you as a bad person.
And on the flip side... AI gives these people what they want. It just parrots back to them what they want to hear about how wonderful and great they are and how everything they do is amazing and valid and their life is so hard.... which is precisely what another human being is NOT going to give you...
I feel like it's a social psyop... To help forward all this crazy shit happening. It's clear Ai is an "arms race".
It seems like the psyop is to make life shitty and then promote some magical fix (Ai) that's going to save us, while it further leashes us to submission and rewrites history and current narration of what humanity is.
No it's not.
It's just the mental version of obesity crisis. It's people choosing the easy and unhealthy option because it's cheaper and readily available, than the far more difficult and more costly option of eating well and exercise.
I mean I can't disagree with that, but couldn't that BE the psyop...? Make people dumb as fuck so you can own them...
People choose to be dumb. Just like they choose to be lazy.
no psyop is required. biology doesn't like making an effort if it doesn't have to do so. you can see lots of non-human examples of this as well.
getting human beings outside of their default biological impulses to be lazy and not think... takes years of training and work. hence why so few people are able to achieve it. and you can always default back to it if you don't maintain the effort consistently
No one wants to actually listen to them. Instead of doing some self-reflection, they force a computer to "hear" their misplaced rage.
Not every guy is that way. Some just really are pathetic in the sense that they have no one to talk to. Others are like what you said.